Teens! Did you ever read that a teen given a sanity test meant for adults would would be found to be insane because that’s where their brain is during this critical age? I would remind myself of that when my teens were completely without adult reasoning. Still teens are deep thinkers and do ponder the existence of God and the meaning of life. How will you approach your teen with religious and cultural ideas? How will you respond to their doubts and questions? I hope this chart will help.
If you read the chart and throw up your hands with an exasperated, “So what do I do now?” feel free to contact me, dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org. You are not alone.
I found this wonderful description of the stages of religious development in teens in the Behrman House catalog some years ago. Behrman House is a publisher of Jewish educational books and materials. I’m sharing it with you as I found it – ellipsis and all. I can’t find the page on their current (new) website.
(Grade 9) The Fourteen-Year-Old
Feels many adult emotions and drives but struggling to integrate them to self … girls still developmentally ahead of boys, but growth among boys is marked … beginning to assert independence from parents but still wants them within rescue distance … often does accepted thing but insists on making own decision to do so … world of ideas beginning to make sense, as abstractions take on reality … give-and-take with adults is valuable and enjoyable … senses need for authority beyond humanity, and open to ideas of God … moving toward independent ideas …
(Grade 10) The Fifteen-Year-Old
Struggle for independence hits its peak … desperate to make own decisions … strongly influenced by home but brings own unique slant to things … shared attire and behavior of group can disguise independent thought of individuals … can respond to adult guidance when directed gently and without pressure to conform to standards … group loyalty is especially strong … interested in differences between and within religions … more followers than leaders …
(Grade 11) The Sixteen-Year-Old
Struggles of adolescence approach resolution … often secure enough to welcome criticism … largely preoccupied by immediate problems rather than the future … seems mentally mature but sense of judgment still developing … religion can become part of a philosophy of life … personal choice is at forefront of decision-making … open to discussion and contemplation of ethics … can see God’s relationship to personal life … academic subjects must be made explicitly relevant to leader’s life …
(Grade 12) The Seventeen-Year-Old
Seen by parents as still a child … seen by self, and by world, as increasingly responsible adult … occupied by driver’s license, work, career, college, relationships … can think through complex problems, and generalize from concrete examples … sharing with friends crucial … awed by major life milestones that lie ahead … big questions take on immediate importance: Is there an absolute standard of right and wrong? … What is God like? … anxiety and anticipation for the new world that college or career will open …