How “good” a Dad are you?
For years I have offered a program, Women in Interfaith Relationships. Women, Jewish or not, are the gender that is typically most comfortable with emotions. They are more likely to express vulnerability, to cry, and to comfort each other. But that does leave men out in the cold, without even an attempt to offer them the same opportunities.
I was recently talking to a Jewish man in an interfaith relationship. In the conversation he mentioned that his family observes Christmas. I asked him how he feels about it. He said, “Oh, I hate it, but my wife loves it.” I asked, “Have the two of you addressed your feelings? Have you been honest with your children about your internal conflicts?” Not surprisingly, he answered, “no.”
We went on to discuss the impact of suppressed emotions on children. I told him about the many interviews I’ve done with adults who grew up in interfaith families and the intense, often negative, feelings that memories of Christmas celebration generate.
I asked if he’d addressed his children’s patrilineal status as Jews; again no. I gently told him how hard it can be to leave the cocoon of the home Jewish community and in the strange environment of college or the workplace, to be told about the Jewish tradition of Jewish identity passing through the mother. This is information that should not come as a surprise and it SHOULD come from your own parents.
Often people shy away from these kinds of conversations because they are afraid. Afraid of being judged, condemned, dismissed and deeply hurt. OTHER PEOPLE’S thinking should not impair your ability to give fully to your children. Your children deserve the truth, a firm understanding of their identity, a parental message of strength and honesty.
I know a Jewish mother of African American sons. In a workshop she began to cry. She said her boys, then 4 and 6, were too young to have to address racism. She didn’t want to discuss it with them. Couldn’t she wait until they were older? Their African American father sat beside her shaking his head. The world will not be put on hold for the sake of children, or their parents. The way out of the fire is through the fire. Don’t stand in a burning house wringing your hands, start walking out.
What of the non-Jewish father? Can he say, well, the kids are halachically Jewish, I’ll just observe. NO. Your children are HALF you and they need to fully understand who you are, how you were raised and how you fit into the family you and your spouse have created. No, you don’t get to sit at home. You may have a son that loves ballet and that may make you uncomfortable. But you are responsible for supporting him – driving him to classes and attending his recitals.
Now you ask, how? How do I deal with something I’ve never been taught about? You start by talking. So PLEASE come to the Men in Interfaith Relationships program. If the date won’t work for you, let me know. I can create an online program. I can talk to you and share what others have said. I can hear what YOUR concerns are and offer ideas or just hear you out.
EVENTS
Shabbat Services with Guest Artist and Rabbi Kendell Pinkney (San Rafael)
Junior Congregation (3 to 6th graders) (Oakland)
¡Cantamos! A Latin Jewish Musical Journey (Berkeley)
Sunday Funday (San Francisco)
Kol Tots Playgroup (Tiberon)
Perspectives on the Dramatic Changes in the Middle East (Online)
Passover Party for Families with Young Children (Pleasanton)
Passover Family Festival (Berkeley)
“On Being Jewish Now” by The Braid: A Play (Palo Alto)
Men in Interfaith Relationships (Oakland)
Shabbat Services with Guest Artist and Rabbi Kendell Pinkney
Kick off a weekend of creative exploration as we welcome Guest Artist, Rabbi Kendell Pinkney! Rabbi Kendell’s sermon will be on What Artists Know: Imagining Jewish Futures
Join us to connect and imagine a more creative world together.
Date: Friday, March 20
Time: 6:15pm
Place: Rodef Sholom, 170 North San Pedro Road, San Rafael & Virtual
Join on Zoom
Junior Congregation (3 to 6th graders)
Come and join us in the air conditioned Chapel for our service for 3rd through 6th graders. The students do most of the service leading, some will read Torah, we will test their recollection of Pesach with our Jeopardy game and there will be stupid prizes.
Older and younger siblings are welcome. Looking forward to seeing many of you there!
Date: Saturday, March 21
Time: 10am
Place: Chapel at Temple Beth Abraham, 327 MacArthur Blvd., Oakland
Got questions? You can call or email me, dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org or 510-679-0209. Or you can email the TBA School Director, Susan Simon at Susan@tbaoakland.org
¡Cantamos! A Latin Jewish Musical Journey
Join us and friends from Olanim, as we experience the rhythmic fusion of Jewish and Latin traditions with Verónica Freidkes, a creative musician, child educator, and Argentinian singer.
Date: Sun, Mar 22
Time: 10:00am – 11:30 am
Place: JCC East Bay, 1414 Walnut Street, Berkeley
Register here.
Sunday Funday
Get ready for Passover with Jen Altman from Jewish Baby Network!
Join us for a joyful, hands-on celebration filled with puppets, favorite Passover songs, festive crafts, dancing, and plenty of time to shmooze and connect. Every participant will take home a special Passover gift bag to continue the celebration at home.
Registration is encouraged, though we’re always happy to welcome walk-ins. All are welcome!
Date: Sunday, Mar 22
Time: 3:30 pm to 5 pm
Place: Jewish Community Center of San Francisco, 3200 California St., San Francisco
Registration
Kol Tots Playgroup
An enchanting journey where fun and Jewish community come together. Kol Tots Playgroup offers a nurturing environment for caregivers and children ages one to three years. We will build strong relationships through the magic of music, dance, engaging Jewish activities, and delightful playtime.
Give your child the gift of a solid foundation while creating cherished memories that will last a lifetime. Kol Tots Playgroup welcomes parents and caregivers with babies and toddlers, providing an opportunity to connect with the Jewish community and embark on an early learning adventure. Geared toward children one to three years old, our sessions include free play, fun activities, singing, and a delightful snack.
Dates: Wednesday mornings, next meeting is March 25
Time: 10:30am – 11:45am
Place: Kol Shofar, 215 Blackfield Drive, Tiburon
Sign up here
Perspectives on the Dramatic Changes in the Middle East
Join us online to hear personal perspectives from Dr. Jack Cohen (an Israeli resident and father of Simon Cohen) on the events and changes the Middle East is undergoing, as well as his family’s experiences during the current war.
Date: Thu, Mar 26
Time: 8 to 9pm
Place: Online
Reserve your spot here
Presented by Beth Emek of Pleasanton
Passover Party for Families with Young Children
Get ready for an afternoon packed with fun, creativity, and celebration! Bring your little ones and enjoy a lively Passover party designed just for families with young children. This special event is co-hosted with PJ Library.
What’s Happening
Hands-on Passover crafts
High-energy movement and music activities
A playful, kid-friendly Passover story
Light dinner for the whole family
Come sing, create, laugh, and celebrate together. This will be a joyful, memory-making afternoon for your family!
Register by March 25th using the link below. For more information, contact Heather Bell deLeyos.
Date: Saturday, March 28
Time: 4:00 – 6:00 pm
Place: Congregation Beth Emek, 3400 Nevada Ct, Pleasanton
Register here
Passover Family Festival
Join Urban Adamah and PJ Library on an active, outdoor, hands-on journey through the seder, as we celebrate Passover with an interactive experience for the whole family! Explore exciting stations inspired by the seder plate, with activities, crafts and tasty treats. We’ll also come together to sing joyful songs in celebration of this spring festival (Chag Ha-Aviv). This is a perfect opportunity for families to connect with the holiday and each other—don’t miss out on this memorable event full of fun and learning!
Date: Sunday, March 29
Time: 4:00 to 5:30pm
Place: Urban Adamah, 1151 Sixth Street, Berkeley
Sliding Scale: $9 to $36 per person
Registration and More information here
Or call 510 649-1595.
“On Being Jewish Now” by The Braid: A Play
Professional actors bring to life true American Jewish stories of humor, hope, heartbreak, and resilience in a post-Oct. 7 world. See this landmark adaptation of Zibby Owens’ bestseller, On Being Jewish Now. Read about it here. This is the second show in the 2026 season by our friends at The Braid, the Go-To Jewish Story Company.
Date: Saturday, April 11
Time: 7:00 PM
Place: Congregation Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma St, Palo Alto
Get tickets here.
Men in Interfaith Relationships: A discussion for husbands, boyfriends, partners, fathers and grandfathers
Join other men Jewish or not, to examine interfaith relationships in relation to culture and gender. What are the unique expectations and responses that a man encounters as he creates a home and builds a family life in which his religion is not that of his partner? Join a multi-generational discussion about the assumptions and possibilities surrounding the roles society assigns men. Male identifying individuals in any stage of relationship, and any age are welcome.
Date: Thursday, April 23
Time: 7 to 8:30pm
Place: The Baum Center at Temple Beth Abraham, 341 MacArthur Blvd., Oakland
Free, but for security reasons you must register by April 13th.
To register, send your name, email and street address to dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org