When my youngest was a baby I had chronic lower back pain. I knew it was from carrying him around and I just didn’t think there was a remedy. Then one day I mentioned it to a health care professional and she immediately gave me a simple back strengthening exercise. By doing the exercise every couple days I stopped being in pain and continued carrying my little guy.
Being in an interfaith relationship can be like that – it bothers you sometimes, but not enough to do anything about it. You figure, it’s just part of the whole deal. Maybe time will change it. After all, we love each other and doesn’t love have some sort of “fix it” quality? Or you’ve set into a routine that has become so strong you don’t think you could get out anyway. As several couples have told me, “We’re stuck.”
Who was it that said, “If you keep on doing what you keep on doing, you’ll keep on getting what you keep on getting.”
Maybe you want something new.
I suggest a couples discussion group. It’s not free form. It’s more like the lab sessions from science class. Everyone is doing the same type of experiment, but you are working on a different specimen – your own relationship. So everyone is asked the same question but you each have different answers. Each of you gets to hear the other answers which gives you a broader way to think about the question as it applies to you.
Every now and again I get a happy email from one of you saying, Such and such just happened! Can you believe it, Dawn? Did you ever think we’d get to this point? Yes, I did think you’d get to this point. I have a lot of faith in you. AND I keep them in my folder of “happy mail.”
Why not try a group? Send me an email today. Tell me which weekday evenings you are available, and let’s see what we can do. On the Jewish calendar there are four new years; Passover is one of them. Start off this “new year” with a burst of spring cleaning for your relationship.
Contact me, at dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org