When a new inquiry arrives – typically as an email – I set up a time to talk, either on the phone or on Zoom. Invariably the conversation gets detailed and extends beyond the 5 to 10 minutes that many people anticipated. As they describe their situation they often pause and say, “I’m sorry I’m talking too much.” No. You cannot talk too much. No two human beings are the same. No two couples are the same. I need to understand the unique elements of your identity, your partner’s identity and what you each want in order to give good suggestions.
Many people go into the conversation believing that I have a secret, a solution to the challenges of interfaith marriage/life and I can just give it to them. Again, no. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. We have to find the right answers for YOU.
Our conversation may go on for months – with regular appointments. It may lie fallow for years and suddenly you hit a wall and call me 10 years later. It may be an occasional touching base. The need for some assistance is unpredictable.
My message is: there are no rules. Life isn’t something you *fix* for all time. Be patient with yourself. Embrace a new challenge/trouble/surprise with the view that this is life, just the next obstacle to overcome. You deserve support and ideas for resolving it. I’m still here.
Shavuot begins Thursday evening
As with all Jewish days, Shavuot begins at sundown. It is one of the three biblically commanded festivals. I am sending you this link to Shavuot 101 from My Jewish Learning; it provides a solid explanation of the holiday. The frustration I always have is knowing that no single article can provide a sufficient description of the depth and nuance of a holiday that has been practiced all over the world for thousands of years. By all means dive into more texts about Shavuot!
All three of the Biblical pilgrimage holidays are agricultural. This makes me ponder, what practices were passed down orally that we no longer know the meaning of. Which of them were assigned spiritual meaning because the people were already doing them?
The article from My Jewish Learning states: the main communal ritual associated with the holiday is Tikkun Leil Shavuot, the practice of staying up all night studying Torah. The custom seems to have emerged in Jewish mystical circles of the 16th century, where the practice was seen as a rectification for the ancient Israelites having overslept on the morning of the giving of the Torah. (The word tikkun literally means “repair.”).
Here’s a tidbit that I’ve only heard from a source in Israel and I find it delightful! It was in the 16th century that coffee was introduced beyond the Arab lands. With coffee, the average person could stay awake all night. At this point the tradition of all-night study moved beyond the sages and scholars to the average Jew.
Shavuot events around the Bay
In Other News…
Israel at Eurovision
You may have read that Israel came in second in the Eurovision music contest. Here is an extensive article from Kveller about the details – good and not so good.
Among Neighbors, a new film
I have a lot of trouble with tragic films about the Holocaust. I have to absorb the information slowly and frankly, I did not watch the Academy winner, Schindler’s List. As a friend of mine said, “I don’t have to be convinced.” But in fairness to all of you I must tell you about the new film that is receiving accolades everywhere. It is Among Neighbors. This article will tell you about it in detail.
The director, Yoav Potash, is local and will be interviewed on KQED tomorrow, May 21st. More information here. Among Neighbors is now streaming on Prime Video and Apple TV. There will be a screening of “Among Neighbors” at Oshman Family JCC in Palo Alto, CA on Sunday, May 31 at 7 p.m. Yoav Potash will will be in attendance for a Q&A. More info here.
An easy almost cheesecake for Shavuot
I recently learned about a favorite Israeli no-bake cake called Ugat Biskvitim. Apparently it is a favorite dessert for Shavuot since it is essentially an easy cheesecake. I asked an Israeli friend about it and within days she brought me one! You can get the recipe here.
EVENTS
Family Shabbat Dinner (Contra Costa)
Rainbow Shabbat Dinner (Oakland)
Drop in to Our Tot Pool Parties (San Rafael)
Pride Shabbat (San Francisco)
Women’s Rosh Chodesh: Morning Hike (Livermore)
Family Shabbat Dinner
Join us for the last Family Shabbat Dinner of the year! We’re excited to celebrate with everyone for an evening of community, connection, a Hummus Bodega dinner, candle lighting, and fun activities for kids.
Date: Friday, May 29
Time: 5:30pm
Place: TBD in Contra Costa
Cost: $25/adult, $15/child, $74/family
Sponsored by Contra Costa JCC
Register here
Rainbow Shabbat Dinner
Temple Sinai’s bimonthly Rainbow (LGBTQIA+) Shabbat Dinner. Come celebrate Shabbat with us! Bring your kids! Bring a dish to share! Challah, grape juice, and noodle kugel will be provided. This event is family-friendly and accessible.
Date: Friday, May 29
Time: 5:00pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland in the Fischer Library
Sign up here
Drop in to Our Tot Pool Parties
Join other families with young children at this fun, monthly pool party with age-appropriate pool toys, tunes, towels, and a bounce house. Our outdoor, warm-water toddler pool is open from May through October and is only one foot deep.
Bring a picnic dinner and enjoy your family and the pool. The family lane will be open in the big pool for the older children.
Date: Starts May 22
Time: 3:30 pm
Place: Osher Marin JCC, 200 North San Pedro Rd., San Rafael
Members are FREE. Non-members pay just $15 for a one-child family or $20 for families with two or more children.
Please pay at the door.
More info here
Pride Shabbat
Sherith Israel is pleased to celebrate Pride month together and to welcome Rafael Mandelman, President, San Francisco Board of Supervisors, to share his Jewish journey.
Date: Friday, June 5
Time: 6pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2266 California St, San Francisco
Women’s Rosh Chodesh: Morning Hike
Join us for a four-mile Rosh Chodesh hike on the last day of Sivan 5786. We will meet at 9:00 a.m. in the parking lot at Independence Park. Together we will walk on a path to nearby Sycamore Grove Park, where we will begin the hike. Wear sturdy shoes and bring a water bottle. Bathrooms and water are available at the entrance to Sycamore Grove Park. Friendly dogs on leash are welcome.
Date: Sunday, June 14
Time: 9:00 – 11:30 am
Place: Meet at Independence Park Parking Lot, 2798 Holmes St., Livermore
Hosted by Women of Beth Emek, 42000 Paseo Padre Parkway, Fremont
Sign up here