The High Holy Days are now less than 3 weeks away. I invite you to think about these things:
You and the Jewish community
Is this a good first Jewish experience for my non-Jewish loved one(s)?
That depends on what you want/expect to happen. This will be a full house event. You will probably not get a chance to meet anyone. In most locations everyone will leave after the services; there will be no gathering afterwards in the social hall.
Your loved one may not know what’s going on. There will be a lot of Hebrew used and “odd” activities, like pounding one’s chest. So don’t see this as an opportunity to shul shop or get the feel for the community. If you want connection, then don’t use this event.
If, on the other hand, you can view it as a tourist walking through Piazza San Marco in Venice observing new and interesting people and culture, it can be a fun adventure.
If you are looking to connect your loved one to Jewish community, I wouldn’t suggest it as a first Jewish experience. Instead, I’d take my beloved to Rosh Hashanah dinner with family or friends. Please, do take this opportunity to explain what this holiday means to you – as a Jew, as a family member, etc. to your partner.
Why do I have to pay to go to services where I am not a member?
The members of a synagogue pay to maintain a building and staff that are there for all 365 days a year. You want to use their institution for a few hours. Do you expect to hold your family reunion at the Lafayette Park Hotel for free? Your wedding at the Berkeley City Club or your anniversary party at the Brazilian Room – for free? Nope. So why would you feel you have a right to other properties you don’t own? There is often a sliding scale so you can negotiate the cost.
If you don’t have a personal commitment to a community, your relationship is transactional; that’s why you pay.
Do you need to feel connected to other Jews?
Some folks are solo flying Jews – they want to hear certain prayers, or the shofar. Maybe reciting the Viddui (confessional) prayers while striking one’s chest is an important ritual. If so, you can probably just find a place, synagogue or other, and pop in for a few hours and then go back to your personal life.
Many Jews – especially since Oct. 7 – have discovered that they are part of a people/family/tribe. They organically need other Jews – rather like trees who form an underground mycorrhizal network to ensure communication, support, and health. Historically Judaism is a communal way of life. So don’t just find a one-off spot to go for the holidays, look for a cultural (perhaps even spiritual) home.
You and Your observance of Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur
What do each of these holidays mean to YOU?
What do you need to have for you to feel satisfied with your experience? Do you want to go to services? Do you want a Rosh Hashanah dinner with family and friends? Do you need to hear the shofar? Figure it out and share it with your partner. They deserve to know.
Do you want these holidays to become traditions?
If you do then note the things that define tradition – regular time, place, foods, people and activities. You need to figure out which of these you want and how you can create them in your life. (Contact me if you need assistance.)
Do you have to go to services to be a Jew?
Nope. If you’re a Jew, you’re a Jew forever. If you convert to another religion then you’re Jew behaving like a Christian or whatever you chose. Going to services or not doesn’t make you or unmake you. It is all in how YOU see this observance as a reflection of you… or not. I have a sick friend and I asked his wife if he will be going to services this year. She looked at me quizzically and said, “I can’t imagine him being anywhere else.” Look into your mind/heart and see where you believe you must be.
About those service options…
One last recommendation – note that there are a number of free and low cost High Holy Days services available. A thousand blessings on reporter Rahel Knight’s head for compiling a list of Bay Area services on the Jweekly website! Have a look.
This and That…
Email Tips for the Holidays
You’re invited to sign up for a short series of emails (Holiday Bytes) about celebrating the High Holy Days with children that is produced by our local Jewish newspaper, the Jweekly. Just go to this link to put your email address on the list.
PJ Library’s family guide for the Jewish New Year
This beautiful guide from PJ Library explores ways for your family to celebrate the holiday season, including the holiday blessings, symbolic New Year foods, the ritual of tashlich and more. The free guide is available in English, Spanish, Russian and Portuguese.
Jews from North Africa
Sarah Levin is founding director of JIMENA: Jews Indigenous to the Middle East and North Africa; she recently wrote a fascinating article titled The Middle Eastern Indigenous Peoples You Ignore. One of the ignored groups is the Amazigh (Berbers). I have an old friend who is a Berber and grew up herding sheep before he was found to be brilliant and was sent out of Algeria to Paris for college to become a physicist. His village was a minority that lived with another minority – Jews.
EVENTS
9/11 Multifaith Peace Picnic and Prayer Service (Palo Alto)
Sababa Shabbat (Oakland)
Community Shabbat Dinner: You’re Invited! (Pleasanton)
Embodied Renewal: Movement practice for the New Year (San Rafael)
Digesting Grief: Love, Loss, and the New Year (Redwood City)
Rosh Hashanah ‘A Sweet New Year’ (Los Altos Hills)
Erev Rosh Hashanah Celebration (East Bay site, TBA)
Peninsula Newborn Playgroup for Babies 0 – 9 Months (Palo Alto)
¡Cantamos! (Berkeley)
Introduction to Judaism: Exploring Jewish Concepts & Practices (San Francisco)
Tishrei (beginning of the year) Tea (Berkeley)
9/11 Multifaith Peace Picnic and Prayer Service
Join this treasured annual community gathering hosted by American Muslim Voice Foundation in partnership with MVPJ. Picnic dinner provided and sowing seeds of friendship will be followed by a program with multifaith prayers and children’s performances. The evening will conclude with a candlelight vigil.
Let us unite to honor the victims of 9/11, their families, and first responders as we strive to transform this tragic day into one of peace and community building. Let us sow the seeds of new friendships by getting to know each other a little bit better. The ability to make our country safe, secure, peaceful and harmonious lies in our hands.
Date: Thursday, September 11
Time: 5:30pm – 7:30pm
Place: King Plaza, 250 Hamilton Avenue, Downtown Palo Alto
Beth Am is a co-sponsor of our community’s annual Multifaith Peace Picnic and Prayer Service.
This event is free and open to all. RSVP REQUIRED to help with planning purposes.
Sababa Shabbat
Join us for a family-friendly, musical Shabbat service. Our service will be at 5:15pm in the Sanctuary. Pizza will be served in Stern Hall after the service. You can also bring a picnic dinner for your family.
Date: Sept. 12
Time: 5:15 to 5:45pm for the service
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
Cost: $12 per person for pizza dinner
Sign up here
Community Shabbat Dinner You’re Invited!
Join us for the Community Shabbat Dinner. All you need to do is reserve your spot, show up, and relax with friends—both old and new.
Doors open at 6:00 pm for schmoozing (feel free to bring wine to share!)
Kiddush, motzi and dinner begin at 6:30 pm
We’ll wrap up in time for Shabbat services at 7:30 pm in the sanctuary.
Lisa Kama and an enthusiastic group of in-house volunteers will prepare the August meal. The menu consists of baked chicken; couscous with veggies; a vegan tofu, eggplant, and tomato dish; rice and challah.
Date: Friday, September 12
Time: 6pm
Place: Beth Emek, 3400 Nevada Ct., Pleasanton
Cost: Dinner pricing is $20 for adults & teens (13+), $10 for youth (8-12), and free for children (7 and under).
Need more info? You can email Trish at patricia.munro@bethemek.org
Sign up here
Can’t make it this Friday? You can save these dates –
Mark your calendar for the Community Shabbat Dinner dates for the coming year. Registration and menus will be available a few weeks in advance of each dinner.
October 17, 2025
November 14, 2025
December 19, 2025
January 9, 2026
February 20, 2026
March 20, 2026
April 17, 2026
May 15, 2026
June 19, 2026
Rosh Hashanah ‘A Sweet New Year’
Celebrate the Jewish New Year with other Peninsula families with babies and toddlers. (0-5 years)
Date: Sunday, September 14
Time: 3:30 – 5pm
Place: Congregation Beth Am, 26790 Arastradero Road Los Altos Hills
Register here
Embodied Renewal: Movement practice for the New Year
Tap into the High Holiday season through an embodied movement practice of dance and reflection, guided through the Jewish mystical teachings.
Date: Wednesday, September 17
Time: 3:30 – 5pm
Place: Osher Marin JCC, 200 North San Pedro Road, San Rafael
Cost: $21.59
Register here
Digesting Grief: Love, Loss, and the New Year
As we enter a season of reflection, Chef Nissimmi invites us into a brave conversation about love, grief, and holding memories through food. With moving stories from his post–October 7th work as a community rabbi and IDF Casualties Officer, plus clips from his acclaimed TV series, we’ll explore how meals can hold space for both heartbreak and healing. This evening will feed both heart and mind.
Rabbi Chef Nissimmi Naim Naor is a celebrated Israeli chef, ordained rabbi, educator, and speaker who blends culinary artistry with Jewish heritage and storytelling to create transformative, multi-sensory experiences.
Date: Wednesday, September 17
Time: 7:30 pm – 9:00 pm
Place: Congregation Beth Jacob, 1550 Alameda de las Pulgas, Redwood City
Free. Please sign up here. Check out 6 other events with Rabbi Nissimmi.
Erev Rosh Hashanah Celebration
Join us for song and reflection. A message from service leaders Rabbi Deborah Newbrun and Isaac Zones:
“The High Holidays are a time to pause, reflect, and begin again with renewed intention for the year ahead. In that spirit, we wanted to offer a preview of our upcoming program: We’ll be exploring the theme of moving from powerlessness to strength. Together we’ll ask: What inspires us to make changes in ourselves and in the world?? How do we find hope, joy, and light even in challenging times?”
All ages welcome
Kids’ activities, inspiring music & Tawonga ruach (spirit!)
Apples & honey & challah
Date: Monday, Sept. 22
Time: 3:30pm – 5:30pm
Place: East Bay; Location shared upon registration
Reserve Your Tickets – sliding scale starting at $18 per person
Peninsula Newborn Playgroup for Babies 0 – 9 Months
Join other families in the Peninsula as we share the oys and joys of being a new parent.
Jewish Baby Network (JBN) Peninsula presents a new Peninsula Newborn Playgroup.
Date: Sunday, September 28
Time: 10:30am – 12pm
Place: JFCS Playroom, 200 Channing Ave., Palo Alto
Find event and registration information here
¡Cantamos!
Come welcome the Jewish New Year at ¡Cantamos!
Blow the shofar! Dip apples in honey! Experience the rhythmic fusion of Jewish and Latin traditions with Verónica Freidkes, our creative musician, child educator, and Argentinian singer.
Together, through joyful singing and movement, we’ll embrace our shared cultural bond in this lively musical rendezvous.
Tailored especially for families with children ages 0-8. All are welcome!
Date: Sunday, September 28
Time: 10:30 am through 12:00 pm
Place: JCC East Bay, 1414 Walnut Street, Berkeley
Cost: $20
Register here
Tishrei (beginning of the year) Tea
Join Rabbi Zvika Krieger for an intimate chat about Chochmat, geared towards newcomers to our community. Come learn about Chochmat HaLev.
Date: September 30
Time: 7 – 8:15pm
Place: Chochmat HaLev, 2215 Prince St., Berkeley
https://chochmat.org
Introduction to Judaism: Exploring Jewish Concepts and Practices
This survey course addresses four questions: How do Jews worship? What holidays do Jews observe? How do Jews approach life cycle events? And what do Jews believe? This course is designed for adults interested in learning about Judaism and is the first step in our Journey to Judaism conversion program.
Dates: Wednesdays, Oct 22 to Feb 18, 2025
Time: 6:30pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2262 California St., San Francisco
Cost: Free for Sherith Israel members; $250 for non-members.
Register here
If you need any assistance with pursuing some of the ideas I’ve thrown out, just call or email me.