(Photo via Israeli PikiWiki, some rights reserved)
This week I had the following communication:
Delightful woman: Hi Dawn, I receive your newsletter and am wondering what is the best way to honor my (Jewish) daughter-in-law on Tu B’Av?
Me: What a lovely idea you have! Tu B’Av is “observed” to the extend that is it observed at all, as a day of romantic love and couples finding each other. But, not unlike Valentine’s Day, a day of love is always a good time to tell a person what they mean to you. I think a card would be very sweet. If you want to do something, as in go somewhere, since the ancient celebration included dancing in vineyards you could have brunch together or go to the Wine Country. But believe me, I’m just punting. Anything you do will be just fine. It’s very dear of you to want to do anything for this minor holiday. I’ve very touched.
Delightful woman: Thanks so much, Dawn! I made a card, filled with words of love, and I made a donation to Jewish Family Services of the Bay Area. I’m all about love, so couldn’t pass this holiday up…no matter how minor.
I was so touched by this woman’s desire to impress upon her daughter-in-law that she loves her and SEES her Jewish identity. Too bad there is so much bad press given to the mother – daughter in-law relationship because it just isn’t true. I’ve heard many stories that dispel this negative myth.
(If you’d like to learn more about Tu B’Av you can read here and here.)
Whether family or friends, telling someone that you love them shouldn’t be reserved for special occasions. I am betting that you’ve noticed how touched people are when you tell them you love them. When a friend is going through a tough time I like to call and say, “I haven’t mentioned it today but I should: I love you.” Sometimes a loving word really helps you get through the day. Do you do this? If not, try it and let me know how your family and friends respond.
Cheers,
Dawn