Have you noticed that when we go without leavened foods we kind of freak out? Suddenly people need cups and cups of sugar to make it all up to them. These same people may eat very little leavened food as part of their regular diet but the forbidden-ness seems to do things to our brains.
A few thoughts on this desperation.
1. Embrace it! Give yourself a day, a couple days, a week, to actually think about this deprivation you are feeling and ask yourself, do I really care that much? Is going without a few food items for a few days SO terrible? Might I use this time to consider how refugees around the world are feeling? Or the poor people in this country who go to bed with very little food, and would happily have a box of matzah.
2. Can I be creative? What if I cook and eat “clean” for a week. That means no processed foods, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and stick to food you cooked yourself.
3. I want to be kosher for Passover and I WANT a rich dessert! OK, OK! Here’s a dessert that one friend has described as, very much like bread pudding. So you get your non-bread dessert and sort of get bread too! Best Passover Apple Cake
4. It isn’t just the food it’s the whole big deal; I just couldn’t pull it off this year. That’s OK. There’s always next year and you have 12 months to figure it out. First, ask for some help. See if you have friends with whom you could do a joint Seder. Look for a Community Seder, pay your money and let them do all the work. Talk to your rabbi. Talk to me.
5. It’s my spouse; he/she isn’t into it/doesn’t like it/won’t help. This is a bigger issue and my first question would be, how do you know? Have you asked your partner or just assumed it? Have you been guests at a Seder and was that OK? How much do you and your spouse know about Seder? If your spouse has experienced one horribly long and boring Seder you can’t blame them for now avoiding all Seders. But the good news is that there are lots of short, fun, delicious Seders out there and possibly your spouse would be willing to give it one more try. Let’s talk.