Fall 2017 Programs

Shaking the Lulav

Shaking the Lulav

Sukkah Party for Interfaith Couples & Families
Come to the Sukkah for some food and fun. Together we’ll make and hang sukkah decorations and everyone will get a chance to wave the lulav and etrog. We’ll make edible sukkahs that kids (and adults) can take home.

Date: Sunday, October, 8
Time: 2 to 4pm
Place: Private home in Oakland, address sent after registration
Cost: $5/person or $15/family of 4 or more.
Register here.

Carly and her mom

Parenting and Grandparenting in an Interfaith Family
Techniques for listening and talking to adult children

Your child has married a non-Jewish person, maybe a Christian. Possibly they have not yet determined whether to have a Jewish home. The question of children may also be up in the air. You know that any children they have are THEIR children but you hope to impart some of your Jewish identity to your grandchildren. How can you talk to your own child and child-in-law about your desire while respecting them as parents? What is reasonable to say or request? How do you open the conversation?

Join other grandparents and Dawn Kepler to discuss this delicate conversation and come away with ideas for being the fabulous grandparent you know you can be!

Date: Monday, Oct. 30
Time: 7 – 9pm
Place: Beth Emek, 3400 Nevada Ct, Pleasanton
Free, preregistration required.
Please register here.

Michella Ore
Patralineal Jews: Navigating the Jewish World & Keeping Your Identity Strong
Are you the child of a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother? At some point in life patrilineal Jews usually are told, “You know you’re not really Jewish, right?” Let’s talk about how to be a confident Jew even if others don’t affirm your identity. Share your stories and ideas with others. Join us for coffee at We’ll offer you an array of approaches for dealing to unwanted comments.

Date: Sunday, Nov. 12
Time: 10:30am to noon
Place: Café Dejena 3939 Martin Luther King Jr Way, Oakland
Free, but preregistration is required.
Sign up here.

Imaginary Comforts

Imaginary Comforts


Imaginary Comforts, or The Story of the Ghost of the Dead Rabbit
Join us this fall for Berkeley Rep’s new play by Daniel Handler, AKA Lemony Snicket, that “celebrates ordinary people trying to make sense out of life in the midst of endless, comedic chaos.” The play is described this way,

The genius behind Lemony Snicket brings his relentlessly mischievous style to a new play for adults. Sarah’s father is dead, her mother is in hysterics, and the new rabbi totally bungled the funeral. To further the absurdity, the ghost of a rabbit hops into her life, pushing her to confront her deepest issues. Fantastical and wise, hilarious and sobering.

Jews have often felt that life is chaotic, sometimes comic, sometimes tragic. Join Rabbi Chester to reflect on how Judaism makes sense of life that often feels nonsensical.

Date: Thursday, Nov. 16
Time: 7:30 to 9pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
Cost: Free to Temple Sinai members; $10 to the public
Register here.

Making Shabbat Your Own: Shabbat Candlesticks
Come make Shabbat candlesticks from metal foil, discuss how to make the celebration of Shabbat work for yourself or your family, and learn the “Secret of Shabbat!” While discussing Shabbat we will explore lots of options for decorating our candlesticks: emboss lines, attach beads, add color, and cut decorative holes for the light to shine through. No artistic talent or prior knowledge required to create incredible candlesticks. Appropriate for age 8 and up. Join Claire Sherman, artist and mensch for this fun filled workshop.

Date: Dec. 3
Time: 10am to noon
Place: Netivot Shalom, 1316 University Ave., Berkeley
Cost: $20
Register here.

Raising Kids in an Interfaith Family
As partners and parents we want the best for each member of our family. Does that mean putting our relationship before the children? Can’t we give equally to our partner and our kids?
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to love and parenting in any family, including interfaith families. Together we will look at balancing competing needs and how to sketch out a plan for your family’s choices. We’ll touch on the December holidays too.

Date: Dec. 10
Time: 10:30am to 12noon
Place: Temple Israel, 3183 Mecartney Rd, Alameda
Free, but please RSVP to dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org so that I’ll know how many to expect. Thanks!
https://templeisraelalameda.org

Jews of Color: Taking Charge of Your Jewish Identity
It is not unusual for a Jew of color to be asked, “How did you get to be Jewish?” Quite simply the question stems from their appearance, “You don’t look Jewish.”
There are a number of ways that an adult from a biracial Jewish or interfaith family can arm themselves for these micro-aggressions. Join Kim Carter Martinez, the biracial daughter of an African American father and a white Ashkenazi mother. Kim has spent years honing her skills and is pleased to teach others how to own your identity in spite of the doubts of others.

Date: Sunday, Dec. 17
Time: 10am to 11:30am
Place: Temple Beth Abraham, 327 MacArthur Blvd., Oakland
Free, but preregistration is required.
Sign up here.

Posted by admin under Adult Child of an Interfaith Family, Current Programs, Jewish holidays at home, Jews of Color, Sukkot
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sarah as Shabbat star

Raising Kids in an Interfaith Family
As partners and parents we want the best for each member of our family. Does that mean putting our relationship before the children? Can’t we give equally to our partner and our kids?
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to love and parenting in any family, including interfaith families. Together we will look at balancing competing needs and how to sketch out a plan for your family’s choices. We’ll touch on the December holidays too.

Date: Dec. 10
Time: 10:30am to 12noon
Place: Temple Israel, 3183 Mecartney Rd, Alameda
Free, but please RSVP to dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org so that I’ll know how many to expect. Thanks!
https://templeisraelalameda.org

Posted by admin under Children, Parenting
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Imaginary Comforts

Imaginary Comforts

Once again we go to a local theater production and then take a Jewish look at the play. That won’t be difficult with this comedy from Daniel Handler. See the play before – or after – the class.

Imaginary Comforts, or the Story of the Ghost of the Dead Rabbit
Join us this fall for Berkeley Rep’s new play by Daniel Handler, AKA Lemony Snicket, that “celebrates ordinary people trying to make sense out of life in the midst of endless, comedic chaos.”
The play is described this way:
The genius behind Lemony Snicket brings his relentlessly mischievous style to a new play for adults. Sarah’s father is dead, her mother is in hysterics, and the new rabbi totally bungled the funeral. To further the absurdity, the ghost of a rabbit hops into her life, pushing her to confront her deepest issues. Fantastical and wise, hilarious and sobering.
Jews have often felt that life is chaotic, sometimes comic, sometimes tragic.

Join Rabbi Chester to reflect on how Judaism makes sense of life that often feels nonsensical.
Imaginary Comforts, or The Story of the Ghost of the Dead Rabbit will be in production at the Berkeley Repertory Theater October 5 – November 19.

Date: Thursday, November 16
Time: 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
Cost: $10 for the public, Free for Temple Sinai members
Register here.
Do sign up soon, we always get a big turnout.

Posted by admin under Community Activities, Current Programs, Jewish Learning
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Rabbi Adar teaching

Rabbi Adar teaching

It is autumn and the Jewish year will start up very shortly. Along with the new year come all the new BASIC Judaism classes. I am listing all those of which I am aware. Do email me (dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org) to tell me of other BAY AREA basic Judaism classes.

Introduction to Judaism:
Exploring Jewish Beliefs and Practices

Looking for a good foundational knowledge of Judaism? Whether you are in a relationship with a Jew or want to become Jewish or are just plain curious, this is a good starting place. Sherith Israel has provided the following syllabus for the class:

Sept. 13: Introduction to the course and High Holidays: The Meaning of the Shofar with shofar expert Maurice Kamins
— High Holidays / no classes —
Oct. 18: History and texts—Torah to Second Temple period
Oct. 25: History and texts—Second Temple period to modernity
Nov. 1: Theology and belief
Nov. 8: Prayer and liturgy—overview
Nov. 15: Prayer and liturgy—arc of the service
Nov. 29: Calendar and festivals
Dec. 6: Mitzvot—exploring the commandments
Dec. 13: Shabbat
Dec. 20: Kashrut—dietary laws
Jan 10: The Jewish lifecycle
Jan 17: Zionism and Israel
Jan 24: Judaism in contemporary society: Reform, Conservative and Orthodox
Judaism; Responsa; Keeping an ancient tradition relevant
Jan 31: Personal Reflections/What do I believe?
Don’t worry if you miss the very first class; it will mostly be introductions. Contact Allison Green to get started.
FYI: street parking is free in the evening and many take Lyft to Sherith Israel.

Date: Wednesdays September 13, 2017 and then Oct. 18, 2017–Jan. 31, 2018
Time: 6:30–8 pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2266 California Street, San Francisco
Cost: Free to Sherith Israel members; $180 for nonmembers. Interfaith couples are encouraged to attend together: $180 plus $72 for a second person. Scholarships available. No one turned away for financial reasons.
For more information or to register, contact Allison Green at agreen@sherithisrael.org or 415.346.1720, x 24.
Note: Allison is incredibly nice and will work things out for you. Give her a call.

Exploring Judaism Part One: An Introduction
This course will provide participants with a foundation in the basic tenets of Judaism. The course is organized around the three pillars of Judaism mentioned in the Mishnah: Torah, Prayer, and Acts of Loving Kindness/Social Justice. Within these topics we will also cover the Jewish calendar, Shabbat practice, and deepen our ability to interpret and understand texts. Participants in this class have ranged from 40-year-long members of Rodef Sholom to individuals completely new to Judaism. This class welcomes learners of all ages and levels looking to (re)-ground themselves in the basics of Judaism. Participants will also have the opportunity to experience Shabbat and havdalah together. RSVP to www.rodefsholom.org/rsvp.

Dates: Sunday, September 24; Oct. 8, 15, 22; Nov. 12; Dec. 3, 10, 17
Time: 9:15-10:15am
Place: Marin JCC in the library, 200 N San Pedro Rd, San Rafael
Sponsored by Rodef Sholom, 170 N San Pedro Rd, San Rafael
Free

The Building Blocks of Judaism
This course is for those who wish to learn (or re-learn) Judaism. All are welcome: non-Jews, Jews, interfaith couples, those considering conversion, and anyone who is interested in learning more about Judaism. Students will learn the basics of Judaism in a friendly and informal atmosphere. We’ll explore fundamental aspects of Jewish practices such as holiday observance and life-cycle celebrations, including opportunities for some hands-on practice and 2 field trips. We’ll also cover Jewish understandings of God and religious beliefs, essential Jewish texts, Jewish history, literature, and the significance of Israel in Judaism today.

There are two semesters. You may enroll for just the Fall or for the entire year. Look here for details.
Please note, there was a first class on Sept. 7th but the class will really get underway in October. So don’t hesitate to enroll.

Date: October 5 to Dec. 7
Time: 7:30 to 9pm
Place: Beth Am, 26790 Arastradero Rd., Los Altos Hills
Cost: $245 for the public, reduced rates for members, students and émigrés.
Register here.

Exploring Judaism
This course is a year-long exploration of the history, beliefs, traditions, and practices of the Jewish people. “Exploring Judaism” will be interesting and meaningful whether you are becoming an adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you are just beginning to explore Jewish studies, you are considering choosing Judaism, you are in an interfaith relationship, or you are simply looking for a deeper and more mature understanding of Jewish history and tradition. Students are encouraged to expand their Jewish literacy by taking this course in conjunction with Beginning Hebrew. Books for the course are TBD; please note that books are not included in the price for the course.

Dates: Sundays, Oct.8 through May 20, 22 sessions*
Time: 10:10-11:10am
Place: Contra Costa Jewish Day School on the Temple Isaiah campus, 945 Risa Rd, Lafayette, Room 207 of the CCJDS Building
Cost: Tuition: $100/ Temple Isaiah members; $250/non-members
*Year-long Course Sundays, Oct 8 through May 20 (No class: 10/29, 11/19, 11/26, 12/17, 12/24, 12/31, 1/14, 2/18, 4/1, 4/8, 5/13)
Details and enrollment here.

Introduction to Judaism
An overview of the Jewish life-cycle, holidays, and ritual. During the course of the year, students will gain an understanding of Jewish belief, history and calendar and gain exposure to important Jewish books including the Hebrew Bible and the Talmud. Each session includes thirty minutes of Hebrew instruction. Sessions will rotate among local synagogues and the APJCC based on which rabbi is teaching.

Date: October 10, 2017 to May 1, 2018
Time: 7:00 to 8:30pm
Place: Classes rotate between synagogues and the JCC.
Cost: $180 for a set of books. A couple who buys only one set will pay only $180.
Details and registration here.
For more information, please contract rabbihugh@apjcc.org
Instructors: Rabbi Berkenwald of Congregation Sinai, Rabbi Aron of Congregation Shir Hadash, Rabbi Ohriner of Congregation Beth David, Rabbi Magat of Temple Emanu-El, and Rabbi Seid-Valencia of the APJCC.

Intro to Judaism: Learning for the Mind, Heart, & Soul
Jew-Curious? Interested in converting to Judaism? Sharing your life with a Jew and want to crack the code? Calling all potential conversion students and interfaith couples!

Our engaging, university-accredited Intro to Judaism class is interactive and encourages questions, discussion, and hands-on learning. No knowledge of Hebrew is required, but you will learn to read the language as part of the class.

Dates: 8 Sundays, meeting monthly on Oct. 14, Nov. 4, Dec. 9, Jan 13, 2018, Feb. 10, March 10, April 14, and May 12
Time: 10 am – 12 pm
Place: Beth Sholom, 301 14th Avenue, San Francisco
Cost: $360 for an individual, $540 for a couple, with 20% discount offered to Beth Sholom members. Some financial aid and payment options are available — CBS is committed to never turning people away. For more information, contact email Amanda Russell or call us at 415-221-8736.
Details here.

Judaism 101
This 18-week course is for those who would like to learn about Judaism from the ground up, or to fill in gaps from what they learned (or didn’t learn) as a child. The class also prepares those considering conversion. It covers Hebrew pronunciation, biblical and rabbinic writings, history and culture, holy days, festivals, Shabbat, Jewish concepts of God and ethics, life cycle, dietary laws and Israel.
By the end of the course, students will be able to read aloud any Hebrew text with vowels. Students who wish to take a single class by topic may do so. Topical learning begins a half hour into the session.

Date: 18 Sundays, October 15 – May 6
Time: 9:30 am – 12:00 pm
Place: Kol Shofar, 215 Blackfield Dr., Tiburon
Cost: $275 for the 18-week series or $20 per class. Free for members.
To register, contact Alona Shahbaz at ashahbaz@kolshofar.org or 415-388-1818 x100

Introduction to the Jewish Experience: Lifecycles and Holidays
Communal and individual Jewish life dances to the rhythm of two different cycles: Jewish lifecycle events and the cycle of the Jewish year. This class covers a basic introduction to the Jewish lifecycle (weddings, birth, bar mitzvah, conversion, mourning, and funerals). Then we will look at the Jewish year, with its cycles of fall and spring holidays as well as holidays reflecting historical events.

This class is part of a three-unit series.

Dates: Wednesdays, October 18 – December 13 (no class 11/22)
Time: 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
Cost: $105 for the public; $90 for members
Register here.
There is also an ONLINE version of this class. Go here to explore that option.

Introduction to Judaism
Whether your familiarity with Jewish learning and experience is academic or informal, you are warmly invited to join a conversation that seeks to integrate your knowledge and explore your questions. This four-week-long class is comprised of classic and contemporary thought on Jewish ethics, the Jewish calendar, Shabbat, life-cycle events and theology. All materials will be provided.

Date: 4 Wednesdays, October 18 – November 8
Time: 7:00 – 9:00 pm
Place: San Francisco JCC, 3200 California St., San Francisco
Cost: $120 for the public and $110 for JCC members
Register here.

Judaism 101
Bring your questions and insights to this introduction to Jewish thought and practice. We will explore Jewish denominations, theology and atheism, liturgy/services, the role of learning and key Jewish texts, death and the afterlife, relationship to Israel, Judaism as a spiritual practice, the Jewish lifecycle, Shabbat and holidays. This class is perfect for Jews and non-Jews, those brand new to learning about Judaism, people who are looking for a refresher, interfaith couples exploring Jewish life, and those hoping to convert to Judaism through our Journey to Judaism program. No previous knowledge required-just bring a thirst for learning and discussing! Open to members and non-members.

Dates: 7 Mondays, Oct.30-Dec.11
Time: 6:45 – 8:00pm
Place: Sha’ar Zahav, 290 Dolores St., San Francisco
Cost: $149/public
If you’re a Sha’ar Zahav Member, email heidy@shaarzahav to access your discount code.
Register here.

Posted by admin under Community Activities, Introduction to Judaism, Jewish Learning
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9 11

Every 9/11 we remember that hellish morning when we learned that planes had hit in New York, Washington DC, and Pennsylvania. We know just where we were standing, what we were doing when we learned of the attack.

One young man, an Oakland firefighter who went to New York as part of the mobilization of firefighters emailed me a few weeks later. He told me that he had been dating a Jewish woman and the relationship was important to him. But he told me that in the smoke and debris of the Towers he had knelt with a priest and reaffirmed his Catholic beliefs. He told me that it was a time and place when God suddenly mattered to him a great deal. Over the following months we emailed as he healed mentally from the trauma and his relationship with Catholicism because stronger.

In the end the relationship did not survive. He couldn’t turn away from his faith, nor could his girlfriend accept the idea of a Catholic home. I realize that this is not the happy ending that we are programmed to want. But it is an honest ending, one with integrity. My Catholic friend found the religion of his upbringing. His girlfriend realized that being Jewish mattered to her.

Every year on this date, I email him both to thank him for his service and to say that I remember his personal sacrifice. Sadly, his email began bouncing just one month ago. So Jay, wherever you are out there, I’m thinking of you and wishing you a rich and fulfilling life.

Posted by admin under In the News, Relationships, Spirituality
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Shaking the Lulav

Shaking the Lulav

Sukkah Party for Interfaith Couples & Families
Come to the Sukkah for some food and fun. Together we’ll make and hang sukkah decorations and everyone will get a chance to wave the lulav and etrog. We’ll make edible sukkahs that kids (and adults) can take home.

Date: Sunday, October, 8
Time: 2 to 4pm
Place: Private home in Oakland, address sent after registration
Cost: $5/person or $15/family of 4 or more.
Register here.

Posted by admin under Current Programs, Sukkot
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Bridget's photo of resistance

We are reeling from the events in Charlottesville. Across the Jewish community clergy and laypeople are moved to words and actions. Here are some from the Bay Area.

Cantor Chabon, B’nai Tikvah, Walnut Creek
The older I get, the more I understand that living a fulfilling life depends on how we respond to the joys and sorrows in our world. When we embrace the moments of grace and love, we feel empowered and inspired to fight against hatred and bigotry when we next encounter them. Too often it seems that those two experiences–spiritual nourishment and the reality of our broken world-are juxtaposed against one another. That was never more true than this weekend.

I am sure I was not the only person to have a version of this experience over Shabbat: on Shabbat morning, 75 of us gathered in our beautiful social hall to sing and pray and learn together in our Nishma service, to imbue ourselves and our community with light and hope. After a beautiful oneg we all got into our cars, only to learn of the horrific violence at a White Supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia that same day. As we were praying for healing in our world, Heather Heyer z”l, was killed as she protested intolerance, inequality and violence across our country. Her mother, Susan Bro, says she wants her daughter’s death “to be a rallying cry for justice and equality and fairness and compassion.”

In the spirit of that call, we will be gathering this evening at 7:00 at Civic Park (at the corner of Civic Dr and North Main Street) for an interfaith peace vigil along with members of many faith communities in our county. Please bring prayers and supportive, peaceful signs. A group of CBT members will hold our banner to represent our synagogue’s desire to stand in solidarity against discrimination and hatred. Please join us.

Rabbi Bridget Wynne, Jewish Gateways, El Cerrito
​Like you, I am horrified by the hatred and violence in Charlottesville, and the disturbing lack of condemnation by our president. Continue reading here.

Rabbi Ruth Adar, Coffeeshop Rabbi, East Bay educator at Lehrhaus Judaica.
The events in Charlottesville are a wake-up call to all of us who were asleep. People marched with Nazi regalia, with racist and antisemitic slogans in an American city and the President of the United States had to be prodded to say more than platitudes. The Justice Department had to be prodded into action.
Folks, we are beyond the pale. Continue to read here.

Rabbi Singer and the clergy of Congregation Emanu-el, San Francisco
Emanu-El Clergy Statement on the violence in Virginia and Minnesota
The clergy of Congregation Emanu-El condemn, in the strongest possible terms, the ongoing horrific display of white supremacist violence in our country. Continue reading here.

Rabbi Menachem Creditor, Netivot Shalom, Berkeley
The Day After Charlottesville
In the aftermath of a horrific day in Charlottesville, there is an image I ask us to hold onto.

Don’t just read this, do something!

Posted by admin under Community, In the News, Jewish Culture, Spirituality, Synagogues
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seeds-of-light Jhos

I want to share with you a beautiful piece that Jhos Singer sent out to his community, Chochmat Halev. It is a reminder to take time to notice the blessings around you. Slow down, enjoy this life.

There are seeds of light planted everywhere if you can see them

Shabbat Shalom Chaverim,

There is a line from Psalm 97 that says, Or zarua l’tzaddik, u’l’yishrei lev simcha. It isn’t the easiest snippet to translate, but here’s my take:

There are seeds of light and gladness planted everywhere, you just gotta be curious and openhearted enough to see them.

During the week we might be driving too fast, working too hard, or stressing too many details to notice that we are literally surrounded by life affirming miracles. Maybe you are trying to get a budget to balance while a bird flies, unnoticed, past your window. Or you are wrangling your squirrely children into the car just as there are strawberries silently ripening in a raised bed near your parking place. You are racing to beat a deadline oblivious that your own body is turning that hastily gobbled lunch into energy and nutrients that fuel your maxxed out brain. And that’s OK for the rest of the week—but on Shabbat, we have an excuse to slow down and take notice of all the incredible points of light that surround us.

It has been another rough week in our country—sigh. It’s easy to obsess and stay tapped into the madness when our political and gubernatorial systems seem so completely broken. Yet without some respite from it we grind ourselves down to dust with worry, over exertion, stress and anger. And then we miss the light show. We miss the way the trees are growing regardless of what happens in Washington, we don’t take time to stick our feet in the frigid Pacific and feel the sand shift to hold our weight, we forget to marvel at the delightful curve of our best friend’s smile, or the way a perfectly ripe peach is impossible to eat with out making a mess. We miss the or zaruah, the glinting, sparkling light that revives our hearts—so, here we go, friends. Shabbes is upon us. Stow away meddlesome things, take a deep breath and look around for the dazzling array that surrounds you.

Blessin’s—Jhos

You can sign up to receive Chochmat HaLev’s email newsletter at the bottom of their home page.

Posted by admin under A meaningful life, Spirituality
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baptism from Pixabay

From my monthly advice column, Mixed and Matched. I receive a note from a well intended wife/mother/daughter-in-law

I am Jewish and my non-Jewish husband and I had a baby six weeks ago. My mother-in-law is Christian and planning to visit us now that we’ve settled in. She called me and begged me to let her take the baby to be baptized. She said that she knows we intend to raise our daughter as a Jew, but it would make her feel at peace if the baby were baptized.

I told her I’d think about it. I thought maybe it was a nice thing to do for my mother-in-law; I don’t believe that she can do anything to render my baby not Jewish. But when I told my husband, he got upset and said this is just the first step and his mother will find a way to make the baby Christian. I feel caught. I want a good relationship with my mother-in-law, but I am worried about my husband’s feelings. What should I do? — Torn

Dear Torn: I commend you for wanting to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, but I am concerned that she is not thinking the same way you are. Your husband knows her better than you do. If he feels she intends to impose her opinions and beliefs on how your daughter is raised, I would tend to believe him.

I note that your mother-in-law didn’t talk to her son about this. Is that because he is not responsive to her way of thinking? Do they have bad blood about his own upbringing? Additionally, he seems angry at his mother because he anticipates interference in the future.

This is really something that your husband should discuss with his mother. I think it is quite reasonable for him to call his mother and tell her he is aware of her request. Then he should explain to her that he is part of the duo that decided to raise your daughter as a Jew. The two of them need to clarify boundaries. He should explain to her why he is angry about her request and what he expects her role with his daughter to be. He should also tell her that anything she wants to say to you will be for his ears also.

Does your husband know what his mother will be “at peace” about? Does she fear that her grandchild will not go to heaven without baptism? What does his mother think will happen to you? As a Jew, are you going to hell, according to her theology? I realize these may seem like awkward topics, but it is best to know just how desperate she feels. It is important that both you and your husband remain as calm as possible. Remember that she won’t have much access to your daughter, and what you decide will be the law in your own home. When she leaves at the end of her visit, you will go on with your own way of life.

Do some planning with your husband. It sounds like your mother-in-law lives some distance away. I suggest you put her up at a hotel during her visit so that you and your husband have down time to process whatever comes up.

How will you spend her visit? Having a plan helps a great deal. Plan to not spend long hours alone together. Instead, go to a park, meet a friend for tea and introduce your mother-in-law. Enlist a close friend to drop by on days when you might be home alone for an extended period. Try to make the visit enjoyable so that all of you will have positive memories. If you become stressed, pick up the baby and leave. Go to a friend’s house and stay there until your husband comes home from work.

Be aware that your daughter will not remember this visit, so there is no undue influence taking place. Remind your husband of that, too. If he will be made uncomfortable by his mother’s visit, consider how you can ease it for him. He may need a buffer. Ask a sibling or friend who is close to your husband to spend time with all of you. If your mother-in-law will be with you over Shabbat, consider taking her to synagogue with you. She may be pleasantly surprised at how warm and spiritual a Jewish service can be. Your husband will feel supported by your shared spiritual community.

Posted by admin under Children, Life Cycle, Mixed & Matched
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The Rainbow Challah

The Rainbow Challah

For those of us in the liberal bubble of the bay area we may need to put some extra energy into Pride this year. We may be feeling downtrodden and helpless.

If you are wondering, what can I do?, read this empowering and succinct post from Rabbi Ruth Adar, the Coffee Shop Rabbi.

If you want to make your own Rainbow Challah take a look at Whatjewwannaeat.com for a guide to coloring and braiding your bread.

Posted by admin under LGBT, Shabbat
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