Happy Son & Dad

Happy Son & Dad

Growing Up Interfaith: Conference May 22
What’s it like to grow up with one Jewish and one non-Jewish parent? You can actually buy books that will tell parents exactly what to do and say to their children so that “everything will be fine.” Such a book is a farce. If you have a sibling you know that no two children are alike. I am one of four siblings and yes, we share many things but we are each unique.

So when it comes to raising children in an interfaith family you should be looking at your children, your spouse, your home, and figuring out what is right for different children – and at different ages! What you discuss your daughter’s concept of God it will certainly not be the same at age 15 as it was when she was 4.

It’s time to ask those “children”, now adults: How did it go? What did we do right? What did we do wrong? What would you recommend to parents of different faith traditions?

I am delighted and honored to have had the privilege of interviewing 50 adults from interfaith families. They have provided the qualitative data to develop a larger study. But Dr. Bruce Phillips will be presenting some initial data at this conference.

The workshops will focus on the interests, concerns and messages from adults who grew up with one Jewish and one non-Jewish parent.

There is one HUGE take-home. It is that people love their parents deeply and simply want to be understood. Here’s a great place to start digging deeper into the experiences of our children and guiding them to a confident and comfortable identity.

EVENTS
Rockin’ Shabbat (Redwood City)
Tot Shabbat (Foster City)
Torah with Soul (San Rafael)
Seder Workshop and Recipe Tasting (Oakland)
Special Lunch and Learn with Imam Abdullah Antepli (Palo Alto)
Passover Concert with Elana Jagoda (San Mateo)
This is Bay Area Jewry: Photo Exhibition Opening Reception (Oakland)
Families Doing Jewish Workshop – At Home with Jewish Ethics (Oakland)
“Let me see that good land” (Palo Alto)
Growing Up Interfaith (Oakland)

Rockin’ Shabbat
Come to this much-loved first-Friday musical Shabbat service and dinner! Rockin’ Shabbat is a multigenerational spiritual and social experience, enjoyed by members and friends from newborn to 90+! Service begins at 6:15 p.m. followed by a fun-filled dinner. Come for both!

Date: Friday, April 1
Time: Begins at 6:15 p.m. followed by a fun-filled dinner.
Place: Congregation Beth Jacob, 1550 Alameda de las Pulgas, Redwood City
RSVP here
650-366-8481

Tot Shabbat
(Usually held on the first and third Shabbat mornings of each month.)
Tot Shabbat offers monthly services for families with babies through age five.
Main service begins at 9:30. Tot Shabbat service goes from 11:00am-12:00pm and is followed by Kiddush luncheon.

Date: April 2
Time: 11am to 12noon
Place: Peninsula Sinai, 499 Boothbay, Foster City
www.peninsulasinai.org

Torah with Soul
Whether you are a Torah veteran, or completely new to Torah, all are welcome. Shabbat by Shabbat, we will study the weekly parsha, based on the second year of the triennial cycle. Additionally, time permitting, we’ll continue our study of the Book of Psalms. On the third Saturday of each month, weather permitting, Torah with Soul becomes Torah on the Trails, where we take a short hike on a local trail before studying Torah surrounded by nature. To be added to the Torah with Soul and/or Torah on the Trails email lists, please contact Molly at molly@rodefsholom.org.

Date: Most Saturdays, do join us on April 2
Time: 9:15 am
Place: Rodef Sholom, 170 N San Pedro Rd, San Rafael
www.rodefsholom.org

Seder Workshop and Recipe Tasting
with Dawn Kepler
The Women of Temple Sinai are offering a workshop on how to joyfully master the Multigenerational, Intercultural, Traditional and Non-Traditional Seder.

It can be a challenge to have everyone from your neighbor’s toddler to your Great uncle coming to your Seder. Will people be bored? Will they get hungry? Will the kids wander from the table eliciting grumbling from other guests? Come discuss ways to engage different ages… infant to school age to teen to adults We will cover: Interactive games, bringing in the non-Jewish family & friends, foods during the Seder, Haggadot for different groups, 15 steps to a complete Seder, how to cut your Seder time down and more. Sample some of WTS members’ Passover recipes or bring your own favorite (and a copy of the recipe) to share. Be prepared to bring home lots of ideas, and enough recipes for a personal cookbook.

Date: Sunday, April 3
Time: 11:30am-1:30pm
Place: Temple Sinai, in the Albers Chapel, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
More info here.
To RSVP email Dawn, dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org by March 31.

Special Lunch and Learn with Imam Abdullah Antepli
We have the unique opportunity to host Imam Abduallah at Etz. Please join us as we welcome him for our Shabbat morning prayer service followed by a lunch. The lunch will be a chance to ask Abdullah questions and get to know this courageous leading moderate voice in the Muslim world.

Date: Saturday, April 9
Time: 12:30 pm
Place: Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma, Palo Alto
www.etzchayim.org

Passover Concert with Elana Jagoda
Dance and sing with Elana as she plays hits from her Passover Album, Seder Song Revival followed by snacks, crafts, playtime on the yard.

We will be joined by special musical guest Rachel Mylan from the PJCC, and treated to a Passover craft with Carol Booth, Director of the Jewish Baby Network.

Date: Sunday, April 10
Time: 3:30pm to 5:30pm
Place: Peninsula Temple Beth El, 1700 Alameda de las Pulgas, San Mateo
This event is free to the community, and co-sponsored by the PJCC and the Jewish Baby Network.
www.ptbe.org

This is Bay Area Jewry: Photo/Essay Exhibition
Opening Night Reception
The San Francisco Bay Area Jewish community has been referred to as “the diaspora of the diaspora. Please join us for a wine and cheese Opening Night Reception of this 16 portrait exhibition which celebrates our diversity. Dawn Kepler will lead a tour of the exhibit at 7:15pm followed at 7:45pm by a conversation with three of our participants.

Wednesday, April 13
7:00-9:00pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St. Oakland
www.oaklandsinai.org
This is free but please RSVP here so we can plan for the wine & nibbles.
This exhibit is presented in cooperation with the Gallery Sinai Visual Arts Committee at Temple Sinai.

Families Doing Jewish Workshop – At Home with Jewish Ethics
with Sue Bojdak
Parents of all backgrounds, all experiences and parenting, mentoring or grandparenting kids of all ages are welcome.
Date: Wednesday, April 20
Time: 6:00-7:30pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
Cost: Dinner is $10. Childcare & Dinner are available for $25.
Preregister here.

“Let me see that good land”
The Story of a Human Life
‘Moses fails to enter Canaan not because his life is too short but because it is a human life.’ (Kafka) Moses’ fundamental sense of himself as ‘not a man of words’ comes to a poignant consummation in the long speeches he makes to the people. In our discussion, we will look at midrashic and hassidic sources, and address philosophical and psychoanalytic issues.

Date: Sunday, May 15
Time: 10:00 – 11:30am
Place: Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma, Palo Alto
Cost: $10/public for all others who register online by midnight Thursday, May 12. Any remaining spaces are $20 at the door. For more information and to register go here.

Growing Up Interfaith
A conference on listening to our children
Since the advent of the term “interfaith” the Jewish focus has been on the intermarried couple. Research has not explored the experiences of the children of these couples. This conference will be a forum for these previously unheard voices, discussing what parental and communal practices empowered them to feel comfortable in their own skins and safe to explore the identities they choose.

Dr. Bruce Phillips will speak about his in-progress study of adults from interfaith families.
Dr. Joel Crohn, author of Mixed Matches, will be speaking about balancing relationship and parenting responsibilities in regard to religion.
Adults who were raised in interfaith homes will share their views and opinions. Other topics include multi-cultural Jews, patrilineal Jews, and a best practice discussion for interfaith parents raising children.

Date: May 22
Time: 1pm – 5:30pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
This program is free but please register. We are buying snacks for the day and wine & cheese for a reception afterwards. Help us get an accurate count by signing up here

Posted by admin under Adult Child of an Interfaith Family, Community Activities, Jews of Color, Programs archive
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Sasha_Saman-852

Growing Up Interfaith

What would happen if instead of telling people what they feel, we asked them? That’s the novel idea behind this gathering. In a qualitative study, Dr. Bruce Phillips and Dawn Kepler asked young adults who had one Jewish and one non-Jewish parent about their experiences, feelings and choices. On May 22nd the preliminary findings will be shared and discussed. Additionally, we will hear from experts. Many of those experts will be the individuals who grew up in an interfaith family.

Workshop leaders will include:

Dr. Bruce Phillips, a leading researcher in the sociology of American Jewry for over three decades and author of the 2004 San Francisco Jewish Population Study will discuss data now available about adults from interfaith families.

Dr. Joel Crohn, author of Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic and Interfaith Relationships and Beyond the Chuppah: A Jewish Guide to Happy Marriages, will discuss balancing your responsibilities as a partner and a parent.

A panel of adults raised in interfaith families will share their diverse experiences and well as their recommendations for intermarried parents and Jewish institutions.

A therapist who grew up in an interfaith home will discuss a therapist’s view of religious issues.

Rabbi David Kasher, Senior Rabbinic Educator for Kevah, will speak on An Orthodox View of Intermarriage, Patrilineal Jews and a Torah Life.

Rabbi Susan Leider, Rabbi of Kol Shofar of Tiburon, will discuss the options and opportunities for interfaith families in Conservative synagogues.

Jonathan+and+Francisco

Date: May 22
Time: 1 to 5:30pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland

Lehrhaus and Building Jewish Bridges will present This Is Bay Area Jewry, a photo exhibition showcasing the range of diversity in our community. The exhibition at Temple Sinai will enhance your conference experience.

List of Co-sponsors to date:

Jewish Community Relations Council of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin, Sonoma, Alameda and Contra Costa Counties
Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs in the Conservative/Masorti Movement, Rabbi Simon
Marin Jewish Community Center, San Rafael
Jewish Family and Community Services of the East Bay
Jewish Community Center of the East Bay
Peninsula Jewish Community Center, Foster City, Rabbi Lavey Derby
Coffee Shop Rabbi, Rabbi Ruth Adar
Beth Am, Los Altos, Rabbi Marder
Beth David, Saratoga, Rabbi Alexander
Beth Sholom, SF, Rabbi Glazer
B’nai Shalom, Walnut Creek Rabbi Drucker
B’nai Tikvah, Walnut Creek, Rabbi Gutterman
Kol Emeth, Palo Alto, Rabbi Booth
Kol Shofar, Tiburon, Rabbi Leider
Netivot Shalom, Berkeley, Rabbi Creditor
Peninsula Sinai, Foster City, Rabbi Helfand
Sherith Israel, SF, Rabbi Larry Raphael
Temple Beth Abraham, Rabbi Bloom
Temple Sinai, Oakland, Rabbi Mates-Muchin

This event is supported by the Ingrid D. Tauber Philanthropic Fund of the Jewish Community Federation and Foundation and the Koret Foundation.

Posted by admin under A meaningful life, Adult Child of an Interfaith Family, Couples, In their own words, Programs archive
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challah loaf

Shabbat (the Sabbath) is the central observance or holy day of Judaism. Just about everything gives way before Shabbat – including Yom Kippur. Because it is the day that God gave us for rest and enjoyment, it should be a day of joy. It’s a great time to put something absolutely delicious on the table for Shabbat. How about warm bread, roasted chicken, a savory kugel, and a mouthwatering dessert. We won’t stop at the food. We’ll share lots of secrets for making Shabbat something worth staying home for, even if you have teenagers.

Date: May 1
Time: noon to 4pm
Place: Beth Am Congregation(in the kitchen), 26790 Arastradero Road, Los Altos Hills
Cost: $35
Sign up here.

Posted by admin under Holidays, Jewish holidays at home, Programs archive, Shabbat, symbolic foods
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Joo - dictionary definition

In 1983 the Reform movement officially recognized children of Jewish fathers as Jewish. But if you read the statement it says that every child of a mixed marriage, whether the mother or father is Jewish, must establish their identity as a Jew “through appropriate and timely public and formal acts of identification with the Jewish faith and people.” What are those acts? Do we really expect all kids from interfaith marriages to do so? What role do non-Reform Jews play in our lives and those of our children? Join Dawn Kepler for an exploration of Patrilineal Jews today.

Date: Sunday, March 13, 2016
Time: 10am to 11:30am
Place: B’nai Tikvah, 25 Hillcroft Way, Walnut Creek
Cost: Free to members of B’nai Tikvah, $5/public
Register here.

Posted by admin under Adult Child of an Interfaith Family, Programs archive
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Serial (Bad) Weddings

Serial (Bad) Weddings

In this comedy sensation from France, we meet Marie and Claude Verneuil who pride themselves on their open-mindedness. But their lifestyle—they are affluent, church-going Catholics—is put to the test after three of their daughters marry men from vastly different ethnic and religious backgrounds. When their fourth daughter announces her engagement to a man from the Ivory Coast, they try to sabotage the interracial wedding, only to discover that the groom’s parents harbor prejudices of their own.

Tuesday, March 8
10:00 am
Century 16 Theatres, 125 Crescent Drive, Pleasant Hill
Tickets and details here.

Stay after for a brief discussion of the film.
Who is happy in a “happy ending”? Can anyone be “too” different? Are there any positives to cultural and religious homogeneity? Why did they change the name of the film for an English speaking audience?

Posted by admin under Couples, Film, Intercultural, Programs archive
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Kimberlee in Scotch plaid

When Jews love Non-Jews and Judaism

In 1994 Anne was a graduate student at Stanford University in the Film Department. For her Master’s Thesis she made a short film (9 minutes) about her parents’ intermarriage and titled it Interlove Story. In it she uses old family movies and current interviews with her parents to tell the story of their Catholic – Jewish marriage, the choices they made regarding religion in their home and the advice they gave her regarding her own relationship with a non-Jewish man. In her film, Anne does not propose any answers. She opens questions and relates choices, the choices that have brought her to be who she is.

There are some statements that jump off the screen – whether you agree or disagree, you’ll have an opinion.

Sunday, February 28
10:00 – 11:30 am
B’nai Tikvah, 25 Hillcroft Way, Walnut Creek
$5 for the public; Free for members
Register here.

Posted by admin under Couples, Programs archive
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New Years Day

Happy 2016! This is a great time to commit to increase your understanding of your spouse/partner, learn more yourself and get to know others on the same path. Now is the time to consider what role your non-Jewish spouse will have in Jewish life. Time to think about how to balance your love of Judaism and your love of someone who isn’t Jewish. Time to ask, if the Jewish parent is Dad, how will our child be perceived & what can we do to strengthen their confidence in their own authenticity. And, of course, it’s always a good time to cook up delicious food and EAT it! I hope to see you at one of these events!

Bnai Tikvah bema

The Non-Jew in the Synagogue
Our synagogue is blessed to have many interfaith couples as members, many of whom are very involved. That involvement has led to some common questions. How should I behave in services; should I do what the Jews are doing – bow, recite the Hebrew? How should I deal with lines like, ‘thank you God for making me a Jew’ when I’m not a Jew? I wonder if I’ll be offending anyone by ‘acting’ like a Jew or by saying Shabbat Shalom or Shana Tovah. Does that make me an impostor? I’m not sure whether I’m allowed to touch the Torah.
For better or worse, every synagogue has its own customs. Come learn about the customs and traditions at B’nai Tikvah. We can also touch on common practice at other shuls if you are anticipating visiting elsewhere for a family simcha.

Date: Sunday, Jan. 31, 2016
Time: 10am to 11:30am
Place: B’nai Tikvah, 25 Hillcroft Way, Walnut Creek
Cost: Free to members of B’nai Tikvah, $5/public
Sign up here

chelsea Clinton smaller

Interlove Story: When Jews Love Non-Jews and Judaism
In 1994 Anne was a graduate student at Stanford University in the Film Department. For her Master’s Thesis she made a short film (9 minutes) about her parents’ intermarriage and titled it Interlove Story. In it she uses old family movies and current interviews with her parents to tell the story of their Catholic – Jewish marriage, the choices they made regarding religion in their home and the advice they gave her regarding her own relationship with a non-Jewish man. In her film, Anne does not propose any answers. She opens questions and relates choices, the choices that have brought her to be who she is.
There are some statements that jump off the screen – whether you agree or disagree, you’ll have an opinion.

Date: Sunday, Feb. 28, 2016
Time: 10am to 11:30am
Place: B’nai Tikvah, 25 Hillcroft Way, Walnut Creek
Cost: Free to members of B’nai Tikvah, $5/public
Sign up here.

Jew dictionary definition

Patrilineal Descent, Reform Judaism & Those Other Jews
In 1983 the Reform movement officially recognized children of Jewish fathers as Jewish. But if you read the statement it says that every child of a mixed marriage, whether the mother or father is Jewish, must establish their identity as a Jew “through appropriate and timely public and formal acts of identification with the Jewish faith and people.” What are those acts? Do we really expect all kids from interfaith marriages to do so? What role do non-Reform Jews play in our lives and those of our children? Join Dawn Kepler for an exploration of Patrilineal Jews today.

Date: Sunday, March 13, 2016
Time: 10am to 11:30am
Place: B’nai Tikvah, 25 Hillcroft Way, Walnut Creek
Cost: Free to members of B’nai Tikvah, $5/public
Sign up here.

Challah by Margee

Cooking Jewish Whether You’re Jewish or Not: Shabbat!
Shabbat (the Sabbath) is the central observance or holy day of Judaism. Just about everything gives way before Shabbat – including Yom Kippur. Because it is the day that God gave us for rest and enjoyment, it should be a day of joy. It’s a great time to put something absolutely delicious on the table for Shabbat. How about warm bread, roasted chicken, a savory kugel, and a mouthwatering dessert. We won’t stop at the food. We’ll share lots of secrets for making Shabbat something worth staying home for, even if you have teenagers.

Date: May 1
Time: noon to 4pm
Place: Beth Am Congregation, in the kitchen
Cost: $35
Sign up here.

Posted by admin under Adult Child of an Interfaith Family, Couples, Finding a Synagogue, Programs archive
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New Year Secular urj

We are delighted to offer a couple of special programs for Jews by Choice. Anyone is welcome to both of these. You don’t need to be a convert to attend.

Everything You Wanted to Know about Conversion to Judaism
Join a panel of Jews by choice and Rabbi Delson to learn all about conversion! Have you had questions like:
why do some people convert?
What changes in their lives?
What is the process of converting?
How do single people who convert integrate into Jewish community?
Is it harder for people of color to convert?
Are there things I should never ask of or say to a person I think is a convert?

Date: Sunday, Jan. 10, 2016
Time: 9:15am to 10:45am
Peninsula Temple Sholom, 1655 Sebastian Dr., Burlingame
Cost: $5 public; free to members of PTS and those working with the PTS rabbis.
Sign up here

This program is aimed at Jews by Choice but much of what will be discussed is applicable to interfaith families who are trying to figure out end of life choices. You are welcome to come and learn about Jewish mourning and burial practices.

Death and Mourning for the Jew by Choice
At some point we all lose loved ones. The person who has converted to Judaism will eventually be faced with mourning a non-Jewish relative. What is appropriate behavior for a Jewish mourner who has lost a non-Jewish loved one? What are the options for dealing with funeral masses, “visitations” at funeral homes, and the funeral itself? What about Jewish mourning practices, shiva and sheloshim? The potential for isolation is great, but certainly isolation is not what Jewish tradition seeks for a mourner!

A member of an interfaith family may have some of the same questions. How do I honor my loved one yet find comfort for myself?

Join Rabbi Ruth Adar for a two session class that is open to anyone interested in grieving in a multi-faith family with a special focus on how a Jewish convert may honor their non-Jewish loved ones and their own feelings and adopted tradition.

The first session will meet at Temple Sinai and will address the basics of Jewish mourning. The second session will be in a private home in San Leandro where Rabbi Adar will model a home observing shiva. Students will be able to ask hands on questions, to see and hold the objects associated with shiva.

Feb. 4 and 11
7:30 to 9pm
Temple Sinai and a private home in San Leandro
Cost: $15
Sign up here.

Posted by admin under Conversion, Death & Mourning, Jewish Learning, Life Cycle, Programs archive
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Save-the-date

Growing Up Interfaith
Stats, Facts, and Testimonies

Since the advent of the term “interfaith” the Jewish focus has been on the intermarried couple. Research has not explored the experiences of the children of these couples. This conference will be a forum for these previously unheard voices. Adult children of interfaith couples will discuss what parental and communal practices empowered them to feel comfortable in their own skins and safe to explore the identity they chose. Dr. Bruce Phillips will speak on his in-progress study of adults from interfaith families. Other topics include multi-cultural Jews, patrilineal Jews, and best practices for interfaith parents raising children. More details will be announced in January.

Co-presented by Building Jewish Bridges & Lehrhaus Judaica
Supported by the Ingrid D. Tauber Philanthropic Fund of the JCF and the Koret Foundation

Sunday, May 22 | 1:00 – 5:00 pm | $18 | Temple Sinai, Oakland

Lehrhaus and Building Jewish Bridges will present a photo exhibition, Jews of the Bay Area, to expand on the conference experience.

Posted by admin under Adult Child of an Interfaith Family, Community Activities, In their own words, Programs archive
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Flora Scott Linda Calvin Panel

Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Conversion

Are you curious about conversion to Judaism — for yourself or someone you love? Perhaps you know someone who is converting and wonder why someone would make that choice. Maybe this is the first time you heard that conversion to Judaism is a possibility. Curious? Confused? Join Jews by choice, born Jews and non-Jews as we work to answer all of your questions about conversion!

If you are a member of a synagogue, of course you can speak with your own rabbi about conversion. And you are still welcome to come hear from our panel. If you currently do not have a rabbi, this program will help you find one.

Sunday, Dec. 13
10:30-12noon
B’nai Shalom, 74 Eckley Ln, Walnut Creek
Free, but please do register so we know how many to expect.

Hosted by B’nai Shalom and Building Jewish Bridges
Co-sponsored by B’nai Tikvah, Temple Isaiah, Lehrhaus Judaica

Posted by admin under Conversion, Programs archive
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