Date: Sunday, January 31, 2010

Time: 10am

Place: Beth Israel Judea, 625 Brotherhood Way, San Francisco

The event is open to all and is FREE to BIJ members; Only $7 for non-members.

Drinks and noshes provided. Bring your friends!

For more information or to sign up contact Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11 or email dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org

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We are now into December.  Whatever you’ve determined to do for Chanukah and Christmas, do it and do it with joy.  If you need to tweak it, we can talk about that in January.  In fact I’ll be having a workshop in San Francisco to talk about Jewish and Christian holidays for the interfaith family on Jan. 24 at Beth Israel Judea.  I’ll send that out next week when I nail down the time.  It will be around 10am.

One thing that just about everyone agrees is that massive material consumption isn’t particularly festive or fun.  So I’ll again suggest that you focus your holiday celebrations on family and time together.  Studies show that we humans are happier when we our time is spent with other people than when we spend our time with things.  So plan game nights, nights to have friends over, afternoons to make cookies.

Take a look at my Holiday Happiness Guidelines:

http://buildingjewishbridges.org/?p=185   

EVENTS

Shabbat of Light: The Musical Traditions of Hanukkah (Oakland)

Hanukkah Havdalah   (Oakland)

Sonoma Family Hanukkah Party (Rohnert Park)

2nd Annual Vodkas & Latkes!  (Berkeley)

Chanukah Celebration!  (Palo Alto)

Friday Night Spirit: Chanukah Celebration (San Francisco)

Feast of Jewish Learning (Los Altos)

Shabbat of Light: The Musical Traditions of Hanukkah
Join us in the Temple Sinai Sanctuary for this special Shabbat service celebrating Hanukkah featuring the Temple Sinai Adult Choir. Everyone is welcome to join us!

Friday, December 11

7:30pm

Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland

Call Gabby for more information at 510-451-3263

Hanukkah Havdalah

Celebrate the Festival of Lights with the Temple Sinai community! Music, donuts, art and hands-on activities for the whole family, plus lots of candles! Please RSVP to Latrell (latrell@oaklandsinai.org) in the Education Office at (510) 451-3263 by Wednesday, December 9. We are having tasty snacks but no dinner, so please strategize accordingly. This celebration will be held at Merritt Village.

Saturday, December 12

Time:    6pm

Place:   Temple Sinai, at Merritt College, 12500 Campus View Dr., Oakland

Call Gabby for more information at 510-451-3263

Sonoma Family Hanukkah Party

Join us for latkes, live music and Hanukkah candle lighting! Let’s eat, sing and dance our way through the third night of Hanukkah. Enjoy live music, activities for the kids, latkes hot off the grill and candle lighting (bring your menorah and candles)!2:30 pm menorah making, stain glass driedel craft and driedel tournament
3:00 pm live music and group song
3:30 pm candle lighting and blessings
4:00 pm kids music and jam session

Date:    Sunday, December 13

Time:    2:00 to 5pm

Place:   Sally’s Tomatoes Cafe and Bar, 1100 Valley House Drive, Rohnert Park

RSVP to Vivien Braly at vivienb@sfjcf.org or call 415.499.1223 x8106

Co-sponsored by The PJ Library, The Group @ the JCC and the Sonoma Jewish Connection. Free entry. Kosher snacks provided.

2nd Annual Vodkas & Latkes!

Are you in your 20s or 30s?  Join over 100 Jewish young adults from across the East Bay as we celebrate Hanukah, the Festival of Lights. This is one celebration you won’t forget: great music, dancing, and fun!

Date:    Thursday, Dec. 17

Time:    7:30pm – Doors Open
8:00pm – Menorah Lighting
10:00pm – Doors Close

Place:   JCC East Bay, 1414 Walnut St., Berkeley

You must be 21 & Over
Admission: $18 in advance at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/90095
$20 at the door
In the holiday spirit, a portion of the proceeds will be given to Children’s Hospital & Research Center Oakland
For more info contact Jennifer at vozz37@gmail.com
Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sponsored by Temple Sinai 20s & 30s Group, 510-Jewish Programming for Grads and Young Professionals in the East Bay, Progressive Jewish Alliance, BBYO Friends & Alumni Network, JCC East Bay, Jewish Community Federation of the Greater East Bay, Temple Beth Abraham Young Adults

Chanukah Celebration!

Come join us for a wonderful time for all ages.  This year our event is on the 8th and final night of Chanukah, so the candles will be burning especially brightly. The evening will begin at 6 pm with a Tot Party, including stories, music, candle lighting — and donuts.  The celebration continues with our full congregational candle lighting ceremony at 7 pm, a sight not to be missed, followed by the Shabbat service. At 8 pm the Chanukah festivities begin. Food and games. Israeli dancing and music by our beloved Kletztets!

Date:    Friday December 18

Time:    Tot Party 6 pm Service 7 pm Festivities 8 pm

Place:   Congregation Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma St., Palo Alto

Info:     Call Lisa at 650-813-9094 x201

Friday Night Spirit: Chanukah Celebration

Celebrate family with Song, Food and Fun! Join Camp Tawonga’s Deborah Newbrun, Isaac Zones, Daniel Meyer-O’Keeffe and Brady Gill. Children ages 7 to 12 and their families are invited to join us as we welcome the Sabbath with some of our favorite Hebrew and English songs (and some really cool new tunes too!)  5:45 – 6:15 pm – Meet ‘n gather with snacks; 6:15 – 7:00 pm – Service; 7:00 – 7:45 pm – Dinner and Schmooze. 

Friday Night Spirit is open to the general public.  This is a great way to introduce your friends with children to a Judaism at its liveliest.

Date:    Friday, December 18

Time:    5:45 – 7:45pm

Place:   Sha’ar Zahav, 290 Dolores St. (At 16th), San Francisco

Free Parking on the Dolores Parkway Median, get a car placard inside the building.

Upcoming Friday Night Spirits: Jan 22, Feb 19, March 19, April 16 and May 21.

Feast of Jewish Learning

South Peninsula Night of Jewish Unity

Join hundreds of inquisitive minds for dozens of interactive workshops on Jewish texts, film, art, philosophy, history, spirituality, mysticism, yoga, dance, music, cooking, life and love.

From secular to orthodox, Talmud scholar to complete beginner, everyone is welcome and everything is FREE.

Date:    Saturday, January 30, 2010

Time:    7 – 10 pm

Place:   Beth Am, Los Altos Hills

FREE

For more information contact bjefeast.peninsula@gmail.com

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Christmas for your child

Last week I talked about Christmas for an interfaith couple, this week I want to talk about Christmas for the children in an interfaith family.  Let me remind you of two truths:

1. Your child is not exactly like anyone else, so you can’t duplicate another parent’s choices.

2. Your child is not so unique that you can’t learn from parents.

In today’s world there is a bonus, many people have grown up in interfaith homes and can give us personal accounts of things that were successful and things that were not.  Guess what?  What works for child one, didn’t work for child two.  So you need to stay tuned in to your child.  If your child is normal they will go through the same developmental stages as all children and you can use developmental guidelines to help you with your decisions.

The big question this time of year is, Is it OK to have Christmas in our home?  How will it impact our children? 

Yes, Christmas matters.  So let’s look at how it matters to kids.

First there is how you as parents handle it.  Are you both comfortable?  No one is unusually quiet or holding their breath?  Because if one or both of you are tense, your kids will know that there is something stressful about Christmas.  They may love the presents, food etc, but they will also feel bad.  Talk to your partner; talk to me. Try to put your children’s needs first. The argument is not about which one of you “wins,” it’s about seeing to it that your child wins.  In order for that to happen you have to find a comfortable meeting place.

Are you raising them as Jews?  Christmas is a big symbol; even if you don’t believe in Christ and are not religious at all, the world sees Christmas as a Christian act.  (Christmas stands for Christ’s Mass.)  Be aware that the world around your kids may see this as evidence that they aren’t “really” Jewish.  Other children may say things like, “You have Christmas so you’re not  Jewish.”  The kids aren’t saying that to be mean.  They are trying to sort out life and its many parts.  You need to be ready with a non-defensive, non-angry statement.  Something like, “Dad isn’t Jewish and he loves having Christmas because he did it as a child.  So we have Christmas now to show how much we love Dad.”  Or to the little friend, “Actually, Christopher, we are Jewish.  We have a Christmas tree because Adam’s mommy isn’t Jewish and we have Christmas with her because she loves Christmas and we love her.”

There is something else you want to think about.  You are developing in your child a love of Christmas.  When your child grows up and moves out of your home do you want him/her to continue celebrating Christmas?  When the Christian parent who is the “holder” of Christmas eventually pass away what do you expect your adult child to do about Christmas?  Often we think only in the present.  But think into the future.  Your children may go through some challenging times as they sort out their Christmas celebration questions.  I have adult children of interfaith families who are very conflicted about their continued attachment to and/or practice of Christmas.  Others are not bothered at all. My point is that you need to be aware.  Think about what you’re instilling in your child.  Notice what they say about themselves.  As they reach the teen years and adulthood, be ready to have them make different choices, possibly even different from their own siblings.  Be ready to talk about your choices and about how they see your role in their choices.  Most of all, be ready to love them just as they are.

You’ll note that none of this is religious – it’s cultural and familial.  Much of Christmas is about family.  And frankly, all of Judaism is inextricable from family.

EVENTS

Kindergym Playdays for Babies under age 3 (Oakland)

Judaism in a Nut-Shell (Oakland)

got shabbat?  (Lafayette)

Chanukah is Coming (San Rafael)

Interfaith Couples’ Trip to Israel (Israel)

Kindergym Playdays for Babies under age 3

Please join us for fabulous fun at our weekday and once a month Sunday classes! Your crawling baby or exploring toddler (under age 3) can slide, climb, slither in our ball pit, make music, create a Playdoh masterpiece, jump on a trampoline, pop bubbles and all of you will make new friends! One sibling under 3 is FREE!

Dates:   Classes available Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays. 

Time:    Mornings

Place:   Temple Beth Abraham, 327 MacArthur Blvd., Oakland

Check the website for details.

Please call Dawn Margolin at 547.7726 for more info and visit our website for details and directions at: www.tbaoakland.org/kindergym

These classes are a great place for non-Jewish moms to make friends and find playmates for their little ones and themselves!

Judaism in a Nut-Shell
This is a student-driven discussion led by Rabbi Andrea Berlin. During the course of the year, we will learn about topics suggested by the class. This is your opportunity to have almost all of your Jewish questions answered. Bring yourself and any Jewish question (no matter how off the wall). There is no fee or registration required.

Dates:   December 1, February 2, March 2 & May 4

Time:    Tuesday Afternoons, 4:30pm-5:30pm

Place:   Temple Sinai’s Merritt Village on the Merritt College Campus

See directions to the Merritt Village here: http://www.oaklandsinai.org/uploads/17192map_to_Merrit_College.pdf

got shabbat?

Make Shabbat at Temple Isaiah the high point of your week. After all, it’s worked for the Jewish people for thousands of years. Join us for “come as you are” family services on the first Friday of the month. Bring the whole family for a delicious pizza dinner, a lively song session and interactive services followed by a yummy dessert oneg, Israeli dancing interactive family activities, arts & crafts, and more!

Date:    Dec. 4

Time:    5:45—Pizza Dinner
6:30—Singing, Services, Dessert & More!

Place:   Temple Isaiah, 3800 Mt. Diablo Blvd., Lafayette

Cost:    $20/family

Need more info?  Call Michael, I love him, at (925) 283-8575, ext. 310

Chanukah is Coming

Shabbat Services – Bring your Chanukah menorah and candles and fill the sanctuary with light and joy!  We will sing Chanukah songs and say the blessings as we celebrate both Chanukah and Shabbat together as a community.

Date:    Friday, December 11

Time:    6:15 pm

Place:   Rodef Sholom, 170 No. San Pedro, San Rafael

info: www.rodefsholom.org

Interfaith Couples’ Trip to Israel

Israel is the birthplace of the Abrahamic faiths and the spiritual center for more than half of the world’s people. Discover the awe and majesty of this ancient land with the one you love. Expert educators guide this unique journey, helping interfaith/intercultural couples explore a landscape immensely rich in spiritual heritage and significance. Spend Sabbath in Jerusalem at the Western Wall, one of the last remaining structures from the complex of the Second Temple, once considered God’s home on earth. Visit the Galilean hills, a lush region of waterfalls and wildflowers where Jesus gave his open-air Sermon on the Mount. Climb to the ruins of Masada, an ancient palace perched on an isolated rocky plateau, where Jewish rebels made their last stand against the mighty Roman Empire. Celebrate Israel Independence Day at Rabin Square in Tel Aviv.

Date:    April 12 – 21, 2010

Cost:    $2800 per person

Led by Interfaith Connection Manager Helena McMahon, LMFT

Here is a link to the description of the trip:

Posted by admin under Children, Christmas, Holidays
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Every year I tell you not to start negotiating change in December.  Here we are in early November so we can talk about tweaking the December holidays.  I’m not suggesting a complete overhaul.  (Making big changes should be discussed and anticipated.)  But knowing that we are heading into December brings up the question: of what about Christmas?

Some of you are celebrating Christmas – some with comfort, some not so comfortable.  Some don’t celebrate Christmas and that too doesn’t guarantee peace and contentment either.  There are two things to consider when you are looking at celebrating Christmas:

- how is it impacting you and your partner

- how is it affecting your children

I have had Jewish partners who said, “My spouse does everything Jewish.  Doing Christmas is the one thing that he/she asks for.  I can do that.”

I’ve also had non-Jewish partners who said, “When December comes the whole world is Christmas.  I provide a sanctuary for my Jewish spouse by shutting Christmas outside our home.”

These two perspectives are both right.  They are tailored to the couple that is making the decisions.  These couples are being sensitive to each other and the needs of their partner.

Now you may not have one partner who feels able to give up on the “Christmas in our home” question.  You may be looking at spending Christmas with extended family or friends in this case.  I know couples who go away to a tropical location – Mexico or Hawaii – for the winter break.  That’s what works for them.

Some people focus on the size of the tree.  If that helps, then it’s a good idea.  If it only functions as a way to narrow an argument, then you need to clear the air and have a larger discussion.

Negotiation, compromise, discussion, communication.  All important to a successful relationship.  If you feel you need some help, call me.

I’ll talk more about children and Christmas next week.

An Interfaith Story

In my last email I sent you a link to Juliet’s story of her interfaith relationship and marriage.  This week I’m sending you some of her husband, Birger’s, thoughts. 

http://interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/birth_ceremonies/Turning_Off_the_Auto-Pilot.shtml

EVENTS

Eat, Pray, Learn: 3rd Shabbat (Lafayette)

Jews of Uganda Speaker (San Francisco)

Songs of Renewal & Inspiration (Berkeley)

Holiday Expo (Alameda)

Rock the House, a Dinner Dance (Richmond)

Eat, Pray, Learn: 3rd Shabbat
EAT: Join us before services in the Sanctuary for a “Happy 1/2 Hour” of spiked cider & autumn treats.
PRAY: Services are a come-as-you-are, intergenerational experience. Worship begins with families praying together. Then students in K-6th grade depart the sanctuary with one of our rabbi for age-appropriate prayer and programming. This gives parents an opportunity to have a meaningful and reflective worship experience. The service will feature our Mizmor Band, a first-rate ensemble of congregants, and a D’var Torah, a teaching on the Torah portion from one of our rabbis. The mood is rhythmic and soulful as the band plays us through Shabbat. The kids join us again after Kaddish and we close the service together with rousing singing.
LEARN: Following services adults can “Meet & Greet” over a catered dinner and speaker. RSVPs required.

Date:    Friday, November 20

Time:    6:00pm for the Happy ½ hour and services at 6:30pm

Place:   Temple Isaiah, 3800 Mt. Diablo Blvd., Lafayette

RSVPs for dinner are due to Mary Anne Winig, Adult Programming Coordinator at (925) 283-8575 ext. 301 or maryannew@temple-isaiah.org by the Wednesday, November 18.

Jews of Uganda Speaker

Journey to Shabbat Services

Our guest will be JJ Keki, one of the outstanding leaders of the Abayudaya (Jews of Uganda) and the neighboring community, and a very experienced speaker and musical performer. His music was honored by a Grammy nomination in Traditional World Music.

Mr. Keki will join with Cantor Glassman in the musical parts of the service, and will speak about a program of the Abayudaya primary and high schools, which educate and feed 600 Jewish, Muslim and Christian children studying together in peace. He will also report on the child nutrition project; public health education and women’s empowerment programs; on-going classroom, dorm and school kitchen construction; as well as the village micro-finance, crafts, music CD, coffee, vanilla and eco-tourism self-help projects.

As leader and founder of the Mirembe Kawomera coffee co-ops, JJ will also provide insight into the progress of the “Delicious Peace” fair trade coffee project (sold here at Sherith Israel), which unites more than 1000 Jewish, Christian and Muslim farmers in the production of organic kosher coffee.

Date:    Friday, November 20

Time:    6:30pm

Place:   Sherith Israel, 2266 California St., San Francisco

Songs of Renewal & Inspiration

A Havdallah Pre-chanukkah Night of Music and Stories

Join Rabbis Shawn Zevit and Menachem Creditor for Havdallah followed by concert.

Date:    Saturday, December 5

Time:    8:30pm sharp

Place:   Netivot Shalom, 1316 University Ave., Berkeley

Tickets/Donations at the Door $5

Call (510) 549-9447 for details

Holiday Expo

Come for an interfaith Holday Expo!

A variety of artists, authors and business owners from around the Bay Area will have booths selling their wares for holiday shoppers of all faiths.  Vendors include Cookie Lee, Creative Memories, Discovery Toys, Mary Kay, Stampin’ Up, Scentsy Candles, and Avon.  Local artists and merchants will be selling jewelry, chocolates, purses, greeting cards, knitted items, and holiday decorations (for Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa).  

Date:    Sunday, December 6

Time:    10am. to 1:30pm

Place:   Temple Israel, 3183 Mecartney Road in Alameda. 

FREE

For more information, please contact Temple Israel at either (510) 522-9355 or templeisraelevents@yahoo.com. 

Rock the House, a Dinner Dance
Dance to the music of The Back Pages (http://www.thebackpages.net/) playing memorable hits from The 60’s. Dine on a dinner of Mediterranean fare, homemade desserts, and wine.
Celebrate the warmth of the Festival of Lights …with good friends and new acquaintances.
Participate in Temple Beth Hillel’s holiday fundraiser.

Date:    Saturday, December 12

Time:    7:00 p.m.

Place:   Temple Beth Hillel, 801 Park Central, Richmond – just a stone’s throw from the Hilltop exit of 880.

Cost:    $45 in advance/$50 at the door.

To make your Rock the House reservations:
Call (510) 223-2560, or
E-mail tbhrichmond@hotmail.com, or

Mail to Temple Beth Hillel, P.O. Box 20910, El Sobrante, CA 94820

Posted by admin under Christmas, Couples, Holidays
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