Tue 3 Aug 2010
Join other interfaith/intercultural couples to explore the complexities of interfaith relationships in a warm and supportive atmosphere. We’ll discuss identity, communication and creating a shared home. 4 sessions. Call for more information.
Wednesdays, October 6 – October 27
7:30 – 9:00 pm
Congregation Beth El, 1301 Oxford St., Berkeley
Cost: $80/couple for four sessions; $60/couple for Beth El members
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Thu 29 Jul 2010
Children move through a variety of developmental stages. How can we support their identity development and family attachment in age appropriate ways? Children in interfaith families are integrating multiple traditions and family heritages, we will look at how to weave together disparate backgrounds into one whole “self.” The discussion will be led by Dawn Kepler.
Marin Brandeis Hillel Day School
180 No. San Pedro Rd., San Rafael
Monday, Oct. 11 at 7 to 8:30pm
Marin BHDS offers this program free to the community.
For information call Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11.
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Fri 4 Jun 2010
Sometimes couples feel “stuck.” They’ve tried to negotiate but both of them have something they can’t let go of. Usually they are trying to be fair but there doesn’t seem to be a midpoint. It’s often a feeling of helplessness. “Stuck” means the two of you can’t fully commit to an agreed upon course of action. You’re doing a bit from each of your backgrounds. Neither of you is completely committed to or comfortable with your current approach, and you couldn’t articulate a mission statement about the future of your children.
What is most important in being “stuck” is that no one is getting what they want. Not you, not your partner, not your kids. No one is being put first, you’re all coming second and you all feel it. Spoken or unspoken, no one feels satisfied.
You may need to just sit with being stuck for a while. This may sound silly, but embrace it. Make it yours. Find the pluses, the wins. But don’t deceive yourself. What is it that YOU are getting? What are you getting to avoid? What is the pay off? What are you getting to do that you’re afraid you might lose if things shifted or changed? Don’t stymie yourself with guilt or blame.
In regard to your children, this isn’t about teaching your children that life is all about material possessions. So don’t retreat to the idea that this way they get twice as many gifts in December. That sounds like a payoff, not a value. Promote emotional health. Your home needs to be a nurturing environment for your children and YOU. The goal isn’t a home piled with stuff; it is a home full of contentment.
The most common reason for stuck-ness is the desire to be fair to your partner when you yourself don’t feel you can budge. “I can’t give up on xx, so how can I ask them to give up on yy.” I understand. Our very being can be wrapped up in something that we simply can’t see a way to let go of. So we have to acknowledge that our partner also has those feelings. Now what?
The first step is to acknowledge where you are. Then look for what it is that each of you is clinging to. Why are you so attached to it? Why is that thing/behavior/holiday/practice unacceptable to the other person?
Just have that conversation and then in a week, have it again. Call or email me. Let me give you some suggestions to approaching the conversation in new ways. Just start; break the log jam.
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Wed 24 Mar 2010
When my youngest was a baby I had chronic lower back pain. I knew it was from carrying him around and I just didn’t think there was a remedy. Then one day I mentioned it to a health care professional and she immediately gave me a simple back strengthening exercise. By doing the exercise every couple days I stopped being in pain and continued carrying my little guy.
Being in an interfaith relationship can be like that – it bothers you sometimes, but not enough to do anything about it. You figure, it’s just part of the whole deal. Maybe time will change it. After all, we love each other and doesn’t love have some sort of “fix it” quality? Or you’ve set into a routine that has become so strong you don’t think you could get out anyway. As several couples have told me, “We’re stuck.”
Who was it that said, “If you keep on doing what you keep on doing, you’ll keep on getting what you keep on getting.”
Maybe you want something new.
I suggest a couples discussion group. It’s not free form. It’s more like the lab sessions from science class. Everyone is doing the same type of experiment, but you are working on a different specimen – your own relationship. So everyone is asked the same question but you each have different answers. Each of you gets to hear the other answers which gives you a broader way to think about the question as it applies to you.
Every now and again I get a happy email from one of you saying, Such and such just happened! Can you believe it, Dawn? Did you ever think we’d get to this point? Yes, I did think you’d get to this point. I have a lot of faith in you. AND I keep them in my folder of “happy mail.”
Why not try a group? Send me an email today. Tell me which weekday evenings you are available, and let’s see what we can do. On the Jewish calendar there are four new years; Passover is one of them. Start off this “new year” with a burst of spring cleaning for your relationship.
Contact me, at dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org
Passover Community Seders
There are so many community Seders I don’t know where to begin. I will put three of them on this email because their congregations asked me to. I continue to add to the big list of seders on my website at the link below. Thank you to Rabbi Bridget Wynne of Jewish Gateways who did the collecting!!
http://buildingjewishbridges.org/?p=281
Intra-Faith Seder
A Model Passover Seder with Peace Lutheran Church
Rabbi Dan Goldblatt of Beth Chaim Congregation has asked me to invite all of you to join him at an interfaith community Seder with Peace Lutheran Church.
Seating is limited to 120 people, 60 from each faith community, and will be on a first-come, first-served basis via reservation email and payment to the Beth Chaim office.
Peace Lutheran has graciously offered to host this sacred meal. The Jewish community will be asked to make some contributions for the evening (Seder plates, Kiddush cups, Afikomen covers, candles/candlesticks) enough for 15 round tables and one head table). Other tasks will be shared between the two faith communities.
Please also plan to bring your own (red) wine (one bottle/family). Grape juice will be provided. A light meal will be served.
Date: Thursday, March 25
Time: 5:45-8 pm
The cost is $15/person. Since there will be adult conversations we are limiting attendance to anyone age 12 or over. Please RSVP immediately to lchyme@aol.com and bring payment in to the office.
If you would like to help Judith Novick, who is coordinating this effort for Beth Chaim, please email lchyme@aol.com.
Community Seder
Join the Temple Beth Hillel community for a Passover Congregational Seder. Rabbi Dean Kertesz and Cantor Howard Cohen lead a family-friendly participatory Seder on the Second Night of Passover. Along with a complete dinner with vegetarian options, all ritual Seder foods and Kosher wines will be provided. Those attending are asked to bring a Kosher-for-Passover dessert to share.
Date: Tuesday March 30
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Place: Temple Beth Hillel, 801 Park Central (located off Hilltop Drive at I-80), Richmond
Cost: Adults: $30; Children (7-12): $18; Children (3-6): $8. Reserve early to assure seating.
Send payment to…
Temple Beth Hillel, PO Box 20910, El Sobrante, CA 94820
Call 233-2560 for more information. www.tbhrichmond.org
On One Foot Seder
Like it short and to the point? Melissa Rogoway, Etz Chayim education director, will lead an interactive seder with music, dance, and drama. The Seder will last an hour before dinner.
Date: Tuesday March 30
Time: 5:00pm doors open, Seder begins after Kiddish (Blessing over the wine)
Place: Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma St., Palo Alto
Cost: $55/adult, $30/child age 5 to 12, $8 tot age 2-4
For more info call the synagogue at 650-813-9094 x201
2nd Night Congregational Seder
Join Temple Israel of Alameda for their annual seder!
Traditional Seder led by Rabbi Allen Bennett. Reservations MUST be made in advance (no walk-ins) Space is limited.
Date; March 30
Time: 6 p.m.
Place: Temple Israel, 3183 Mecartney Road, Alameda
Cost: $40 age 13 and older; $30 age 5-12; Under age 5 free
(Deadline for reservations is end of day March 22)
Contact info: Seder Coordinator – Carol Parker ca_parker@hotmail.com or call the Temple Office 510-522-9355 between 9 a.m. and 2 p.m. Monday, March 22.
Growing Your Child’s Identity in an Interfaith Family
Children move through a variety of developmental stages. How can we support their identity development and family attachment in age appropriate ways? Children in interfaith families are integrating multiple traditions and family heritages, we will look at how to weave together disparate backgrounds into one whole “self.”
Marin Brandeis Hillel Day School, 180 North San Pedro Rd., San Rafael
April 27, 2010
8:30am to 10am
FREE and open to the community.
For more information email Dawn at dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org
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Fri 22 Jan 2010
When I was a newlywed I joined a book club and met an interesting couple. They were a couple decades older than I, wealthy, intelligent, interesting. About three years into the club I was sitting in their lovely garden and Risa said to me, “The book club saved my marriage.”
I was startled. “It did? How?” I asked.
“Over the years we became more and more focused on the kids. When the last one left for college we looked at each other and had nothing to say. Then we joined the club. We read together, discussed the ideas. We found new interest in each other.”
I never forgot that valuable information she shared with me. Never put your spouse in last place. Communication isn’t enough; you must find shared meaning in life. I urge each of you to do the same. Have you thought about participating in a couples discussion group but felt you couldn’t carve out the time? What is more important than your relationship?
Worried that talking about the issues will only make them worse? I remember the woman who told me, “I thought we were stuck, Dawn. I felt hopeless when we first came. I didn’t know we could be so happy!”
Give yourself a new year’s gift. Give the time to get closer to your partner. Your children will thank you.
I’m putting together a couples group now. Email me.
I am listing events below. The one’s in RED are mine own workshops. I hope to see you at one of them.
Cheers,
Dawn
EVENTS
Something’s Cooking Under the Dome (San Francisco)
Jewbilee (Los Gatos)
Morasha (Inheritance): Oakland Learns Together (Oakland)
A Jewish Take on the Seven Deadly Sins (San Rafael)
Our Wider Jewish Family: Understanding Conversion (San Francisco)
Tu b’Shv’at Seder Dinner (Palo Alto)
Celebrating Jewish and Christian Holidays in an Interfaith Family (San Francisco)
Live in San Francisco: The Macaroons In Concert! (San Francisco)
Terrific Grandparenting in an Interfaith Family (Oakland)
Non-Jewish Partner Discussion (Palo Alto)
Growing Your Child’s Identity in an Interfaith Family (San Francisco and San Rafael)
Something’s Cooking Under the Dome
Ongoing classes taught by guest cooks at Congregation Sherith Israel:
1/24/10: Gabrielle Moskowitz, Vegetarian Cooking
2/28/10: Mojdeh Stone and her mother, Purim and Persian Cooking
3/21/10: Jacalyn Kornblatt, Passover Cooking
Dates: Sundays, next class Jan. 24
Time: 10am to noon
Place: Congregation Sherith Israel. 2266 California Street (@ Webster) San Francisco, CA 94115.
Fee: Per class: $8 members/ $10 nonmembers; Series: $36 members/$45 nonmembers. For more information call Sherith Israel at 415-346-1720, x30.
Jewbilee
An afternoon of exciting array of activities, led by rabbis from all Jewish denominations, professors from Bay Area universities and colleges, teachers, artists, performers and students. Check out the website for full details.
http://www.svjcc.org/jplace/jewbilee/
Date: January 24
Time: 1:00pm-8:00pm
Place: Addison-Penzak JCC, 14855 Oka Rd., Los Gatos
Info: 408.357.7413
Tickets are $7for adults, $4 students/seniors, children under 4 free; Childcare available.
Morasha (Inheritance): Oakland Learns Together
All four Oakland-Piedmont synagogues will once again join together for an evening of communal learning! Beth Jacob Congregation, Temple Beth Abraham, Temple Sinai & Kehilla Community Synagogue invite you to engage in a stimulating & lively study of our traditional texts. This learning experience will include chevruta (partnered or small group) learning, as well as a panel discussion of the text. Panelists will include rabbis & educators from each synagogue. The text will be studied in English, with Hebrew provided for those who prefer. No background necessary! Simply bring your desire to be with the community & your love of learning! Topic: Aharon’s sons Nadav and Avihu.
Date: Sun. Jan. 24
Time: 7:00 pm
Place: Temple Beth Abraham, 327 MacArthur Blvd., Oakland
For more information call Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11
A Jewish Take on the Seven Deadly Sins
Join guest speaker Rabbi Melanie Aron of Shir Hadash, Los Gatos for the January session of Exploring the World of Judaism.
Sunday, Jan. 24
Time: 9:30 to 11:30am
Place: Osher Marin JCC Lounge, 200 North San Pedro Rd., San Rafael
No reservations necessary.
Co-sponsored with Rodef Sholom. Free to Rodef Sholom congregants; small donation suggested for non-congregants. Refreshments will be served.
Info: 415-479.3441
Our Wider Jewish Family: Understanding Conversion
Dinner and lecture with Rabbi Mark E. Washofsky
6 pm – deli dinner by Max’s Restaurant
7 pm – lecture, FREE
In the biblical era, a “Jew” was born to a Hebrew or Israelite father, married a Hebrew or Israelite man, or simply followed the ways of the patriarchs or Torah. The Rabbinic era created a formal – and not always easy – conversion process. Join Rabbi Washofsky to discover how and why that process emerged – and what it means to us today.
Date: Thursday, Jan. 28
Time: 6pm for dinner, 7pm for the lecture
Place: Sherith Israel. 2266 California Street (@ Webster) San Francisco
Price: Lecture is free. Dinner for CSI members – no charge; nonmembers – $10. Dinner registration required by Monday, January 25, 2010. Contact Gabi Moskowitz, 415.346.1720, ext 24 or gmoskowitz@sherithisrael.org.
Tu b’Shv’at Seder Dinner
What is T”u b’Shvat? It is a celebration of the trees’ new year and a chance to partake of their fruit as well as the fruit of the vine. The Tu b’Shevat seder is an event unlike any other, reaching into kabbalistic ritual to explore the physical and metaphysical elements that connect us to the earth. And when else can you have an excuse to drink four different colors of grape juice (or wine, if you prefer) in one evening? This special celebration at Etz Chayim features an informal vegetarian meal with a variety of tree-related foods, including an assortment of fruits and nuts that reflect the meaning of Tu b’sh’vat.
We welcome new faces and would love to have you join us to celebrate Tu b’Shv’at with us. If you would like to join us please your check or call the office 650 813-9094 for more details.
Date: Friday, Jan. 29
Time: 6:30pm
Place: Congregation Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma St., Palo Alto
See costs on the downloadable flier here:
http://www.etzchayim.org/Downloads/PDFs/OtherDocs/TuBishvatFlyer2010.pdf
Celebrating Jewish and Christian Holidays in an Interfaith Family
Christmas and Chanukah, Easter and Passover, December and April can be challenging times for Jewish families and interfaith families. The whole country seems to be wrapped up in a holiday that Jews don’t observe. Can an interfaith family celebrate both holidays? How would that work for the kids? Why do Jews react against Christian holidays? Can the anxiety be eased? Will children raised celebrating Christmas and/or Easter feel Jewish when they grow up? Join other interfaith families to explore these issues.
Date: Jan. 31
Time: 10am to 11:45am
Place: Beth Israel Judea, 625 Brotherhood Way, San Francisco
Cost: $7; free to Beth Israel Judea members
For more information all Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11
Live in San Francisco: The Macaroons In Concert!
JDub’s 1st kids band, The Macaroons, bring their irresistible melodies, big harmonies and catchy tunes to PJ Library® families and more in the Bay Area. What’s inside a mezuzah? What should you do if you drop your matzoh ball on the ground? Who’s the man we love to boo? The Macaroons will answer these important questions and more.
FREE juice boxes for kids, Kids Menu available.
Date: Sunday, February 7
Time: Doors open at 11:00am; show at 11:30am – 12:30pm
Place: Cafe du Nord, 2174 Market St., San Francisco
Tickets: $10 per person, Special Family Pack of 4 tickets: $20 (enter access code pjsf)
Infants in arms FREE
Terrific Grandparenting in an Interfaith Family
Your kid(s) married non-Jews, now they have kids, or you hope they will, but there’s no clear agenda for how those grandchildren will be raised. Maybe you’ve heard:
We’ll expose them to both
We’ll raise them Jewish with an understanding of Christianity
I’m not as attached to Judaism as you are, Mom & Dad
We’ll see
Don’t ask me, we haven’t decided yet
Or maybe you haven’t raised the topic for fear of upsetting a delicate balance.
Get active! Met with other parents & grandparents to talk about ways to be a pro-active Jewish grandparent. You can show respect to your kids while maintaining open communication, sharing beloved memories, and building strong and loving bonds with your kids and grandkids.
Date: Monday, Feb. 22
Time: 7pm
Place: In Private home in Oakland
Free to members of Temple Sinai; $7 for non-members
Call Dawn for details at 845-6420 x11 or email me.
Non-Jewish Partner Discussion
Are you not Jewish, but keeping a Jewish home and raising Jewish kids?
Do you have questions about “doing Jewish,” or Jewish home rituals?
Do you have concerns about your child’s coming bar/bat mitzvah?
Has something bothered you or puzzled you in the Jewish community?
Are some (or all) of the holidays confusing? Or fun, but you still have questions?
Do you practice another religion and wonder how other families balance the demands of multiple religious needs in one home?
Join me, Dawn, to discuss the questions and concerns that arise as you navigate your way through an interfaith/intercultural life.
Date: Sundays, March 7 and March 21 (2 meetings)
Time: 7:00-8:30pm
Place: Oshman Family JCC, 3921 Fabian Way, Palo Alto
Cost: $20/member, $25/non-member of the Palo Alto JCC
To sign up contact: Cody Schaffner at the JCC, Phone: (650) 223-8788 or cschaffner@paloaltojcc.org
Growing Your Child’s Identity in an Interfaith Family
Children move through a variety of developmental stages. How can we support their identity development and family attachment in age appropriate ways? Children in interfaith families are integrating multiple traditions and family heritages, we will look at how to weave together disparate backgrounds into one whole “self.”
San Francisco Brandeis Day School, 655 Brotherhood Way, San Francisco
Monday, March 15, 2010
7 to 8:30pm
AND
Marin Brandeis Hillel Day School, 180 North San Pedro Rd., San Rafael
April 27, 2010
8:30am to 10am
FREE and open to the community.
For more information email Dawn at dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org
Posted by admin under Couples, Relationships
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Wed 6 Jan 2010
Welcome to 2010! Wow, an entire decade behind us and a lot of hope for the coming year. A long time ago I worked for UC Berkeley’s adult evening education program. What I was surprised to learn is that more people decide to plunge into a new class in January/February. I had assumed most people would begin in the fall. So, with that in mind, I encourage each of you to try something new right now. Never really felt confident of your knowledge in synagogue or around one or more holidays, or think your kids know more than you do about Judaism? Start a class this term. I can’t help you with classes on Christianity, Islam or other religions because that’s not my field. But I do encourage you to learn about the religious tradition of your spouse. You can start by just going to the library.
Maybe you’d like to get more comfortable in your own interfaith family this year. Come to a workshop.
Want to talk about where you are right now? Call me. Having a baby? Looking for a rabbi for your wedding? Trying to figure out how to give your child an identity that is about both parents? It’s all manageable and other couples are thinking about the very same things. Come to an interfaith/intercultural couples discussion group this spring. I can promise that you will be stimulated and supported.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you this year.
Let’s get off to a great start!
Dawn
EVENTS
Introduction to the Jewish Experience: Torah, Memory, & History (Oakland)
Introduction to Judaism (Redwood City)
So This is Jewish Music? (Redwood City)
Little Latkes Playgroup (Alameda)
A Jewish Celebration of Trees for Young Children (El Cerrito)
Jewish Practice and How It Works (San Anselmo)
The History of Reform Judaism (Lafayette)
What Makes Someone Jewish? (El Cerrito)
Shabbat Shira (Sabbath of Song) (Walnut Creek)
Outreach Shabbat (San Francisco)
Introduction to the Jewish Experience: Torah, Memory, & History
Join Rabbi Ruth Adar for Unit 2 of this 3-part Introduction to Jewish Life. As Jews travel through history, we have recorded our experiences in various texts from the Bible to the Prayer Book. This course will begin with an overview of Jewish history, followed by an examination of how those texts illuminate Jewish life in the past, as well as in the present day. The class will culminate in a study of the Haggadah, the “script” of the seder, and a model seder.
Dates: Wednesday, Jan. 6 through Feb. 24
Time: 7:30-9:30 pm
Place: Temple Sinai’s Merritt Village on the Merritt College Campus, 12500 Campus View Dr., Oakland
Cost: $95; $80/members per unit. Register through Lehrhaus Judaica at www.lehrhaus.org or call (510) 845-6420.
Introduction to Judaism
Seven-week course for Jews, non-Jews, and interfaith couples who are interested in gaining knowledge of Jewish history, life, traditions, and culture. Study together for seven weeks, be a welcome guest for Shabbat dinner in a congregation member’s home, and top it off with a Rockin’ Shabbat. (Friday, February 26 – Shabbat Dinner; Friday, March 5 – Rockin’ Shabbat and Dinner) Taught by Rabbi Ezray, Bill Futornick, and Cantor Barbara Powell.
Date: Wednesdays, January 6 to February 17
Time: 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.
Place: In Rabbi’s Office at Cong. Beth Jacob, 1550 Alameda de las Pulgas, Redwood City
Free and open to all. Questions? Call Eric at 650-366-8481, ext. 333, he is the very nice Exec. Director of Congregation Beth Jacob.
Details: http://www.bethjacobrwc.org/seriescourses.html#Introduction%20to%20Judaism
So This is Jewish Music?
This class will embark on a journey of musical exploration, from traditional liturgy to Broadway, from folk music to hip hop, in search of the answer to this question. Recordings, articles, and live music will be our tools of inquiry. No musical experience required, just an open mind. Taught by Cantor Barbara Powell.
Dates: Wednesdays, January 6, 13, 20, 27
Time: 7 to 8pm
Place: Congregation Beth Jacob, 1550 Alameda de las Pulgas, Redwood City
Call them for more info at 650-366-8481. I email with Eric Stone, the Executive Director; he is extremely nice.
Little Latkes Playgroup
A drop-in afternoon playgroup for infants and children age zero through 3 years with their parents or caregivers. Free play for 45 minutes with a structured portion of singing, bubbles, mini-Shabbat service and getting to know each other better. Open to all regardless of religious identity. Great way to meet parents with children of the same age group as your own.
Date: Thursdays
Time: 3:30 – 4:30 p.m.
Place: Temple Israel of Alameda’s Social Hall, 3183 Mecartney Road, Alameda
Price: free to Temple Israel members, $5 for non-members. Let’s play together every Thursday afternoon.
For more info email Stacy at StacyReid@mindspring.com
A Jewish Celebration of Trees for Young Children
Join other families with young children to enjoy puppets, songs, and stories about trees, and to share bagels and fruit. We’ll experience Jewish tradition’s annual “birthday of the trees” and celebration of the environment, Tu B’Shevat. Open to all children age 0-5 years and those who love them . . . whether you’re Jewish or just curious. Feel free to invite friends who might be interested! Our gathering will be led by Rabbi Bridget Wynne and beloved early childhood specialist Mimi Greisman. Space is limited. Early RSVP recommended.
Date: Sunday, January 10
Time: 10:30am-12:00pm
Place: Jewish Gateways, 409 Liberty St., El Cerrito
Cost: Free for first-time participants, RSVP required.
http://www.jewishgateways.org/node/158/signup
Info: 510-559-8140 or email Rabbi Bridget at rabbibridget@jewishgateways.org
http://www.jewishgateways.org/
Jewish Practice and How It Works
with Rabbi Noa Kushner
It is not what you would expect but Jewish meaning doesn’t so much start with a set of things to believe, it begins with things to do. In this class, each week, over lunch, we will learn about a single aspect of Jewish practice: what it is, how to access it, how it might be meaningful. Also included in the discussion will be how to fit pieces of an evolving practice together, and how to begin to integrate those pieces in a modern, thoughtful life. Homework will involve a willingness to try Jewish stuff out between classes.
Dates: 11 Tuesdays, January 12 through March 23, (no class on February 16)
Time: 12 noon
Place: Teapod Tea Bar, 701 San Anselmo Ave. San Anselmo
RSVP to Pete at pete@rodefsholom.org.
The History of Reform Judaism
Topics for the four evenings will be:
The emergence of “Religious School” in the early 20th century with Rabbi Nicki Greninger
Historical background to the emergence of Reform Judaism with Rabbi Roberto D. Graetz
The liturgies of the early reformers with Rabbi Judy Shanks
The Music of the early reformers with Cantor Leigh Korn
Dates: 4 Weds., Jan. 13 – Feb. 10 (no class 1/20)
Time: 7:00 – 8:30 pm
Place: Temple Isaiah, 3800 Mt. Diablo Blvd., Lafayette
Cost: $10/members of Temple Isaiah; $25/non-members
Register online here, http://www.temple-isaiah.org/education/jewish-studies-hebrew-classes/#reg
What Makes Someone Jewish?
Who your parents are? What you believe? What you do? Join us to explore these questions and to enjoy a delicious, no-experience-necessary Shabbat dinner.
Time: 6:15pm
Place: Jewish Gateways’ cozy home near El Cerrito Plaza and BART station
Childcare: free by reservation
Cost: First time participants bring a dish to share or contribute $7 towards the meal.
Info & sign up at: http://www.jewishgateways.org/events/2010/jan/15/what-makes-someone-jew
Shabbat Shira (Sabbath of Song)
This special musical Erev Shabbat (Evening of Sabbath) service will feature a choral ensemble of Religious School students singing new melodies, with additional musical accompaniment by the Herman Family and Joel Siegel. A special oneg follows. If you want to kick off 2010 with lots of joy, this service is the perfect place to start!
Date: Friday, Jan. 29
Time: 7:00pm
Place: B’nai Shalom, 74 Eckley Lane, Walnut Creek
www.bshalom.org
Outreach Shabbat
A special Shabbat service honors our interfaith families and Jews by choice, and recognizes all those who support them in making Jewish choices. We also extend a special invitation to the unaffiliated – Jewish, interfaith or seekers – interested in learning more about Sherith Israel.
Date: Friday, January 29
Time: 6 pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2266 California St., San Francisco
Posted by admin under A meaningful life, Couples, Jewish Learning
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Mon 14 Dec 2009
Are you not Jewish, but keeping a Jewish home and raising Jewish kids?
Do you have questions about “doing Jewish,” or Jewish home rituals?
Do you have concerns about your child’s coming bar/bat mitzvah?
Has something bothered you or puzzled you in the Jewish community?
Are some (or all) of the holidays confusing? Or fun, but you still have questions?
Do you practice another religion and wonder how other families balance the demands of multiple religious needs in one home?
Join Dawn Kepler, to discuss the questions and concerns that arise as you navigate your way through an interfaith/intercultural life.
Dates: Sundays, March 7 and March 21 (2 meetings)
Time: 7:00-8:30pm
Place: Oshman Family JCC, 3921 Fabian Way, Palo Alto
Cost: $20/member, $25/non-member of the Palo Alto JCC
To sign up contact:
Cody Schaffner
Family Connections Coordinator
Phone: (650) 223-8788
cschaffner@paloaltojcc.org
Posted by admin under Couples, Holidays, Jewish Learning, Life Cycle, Past Programs
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Mon 9 Nov 2009
Every year I tell you not to start negotiating change in December. Here we are in early November so we can talk about tweaking the December holidays. I’m not suggesting a complete overhaul. (Making big changes should be discussed and anticipated.) But knowing that we are heading into December brings up the question: of what about Christmas?
Some of you are celebrating Christmas – some with comfort, some not so comfortable. Some don’t celebrate Christmas and that too doesn’t guarantee peace and contentment either. There are two things to consider when you are looking at celebrating Christmas:
- how is it impacting you and your partner
- how is it affecting your children
I have had Jewish partners who said, “My spouse does everything Jewish. Doing Christmas is the one thing that he/she asks for. I can do that.”
I’ve also had non-Jewish partners who said, “When December comes the whole world is Christmas. I provide a sanctuary for my Jewish spouse by shutting Christmas outside our home.”
These two perspectives are both right. They are tailored to the couple that is making the decisions. These couples are being sensitive to each other and the needs of their partner.
Now you may not have one partner who feels able to give up on the “Christmas in our home” question. You may be looking at spending Christmas with extended family or friends in this case. I know couples who go away to a tropical location – Mexico or Hawaii – for the winter break. That’s what works for them.
Some people focus on the size of the tree. If that helps, then it’s a good idea. If it only functions as a way to narrow an argument, then you need to clear the air and have a larger discussion.
Negotiation, compromise, discussion, communication. All important to a successful relationship. If you feel you need some help, call me.
I’ll talk more about children and Christmas next week.
An Interfaith Story
In my last email I sent you a link to Juliet’s story of her interfaith relationship and marriage. This week I’m sending you some of her husband, Birger’s, thoughts.
http://interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/birth_ceremonies/Turning_Off_the_Auto-Pilot.shtml
EVENTS
Eat, Pray, Learn: 3rd Shabbat (Lafayette)
Jews of Uganda Speaker (San Francisco)
Songs of Renewal & Inspiration (Berkeley)
Holiday Expo (Alameda)
Rock the House, a Dinner Dance (Richmond)
Date: Friday, November 20
Time: 6:00pm for the Happy ½ hour and services at 6:30pm
Place: Temple Isaiah, 3800 Mt. Diablo Blvd., Lafayette
RSVPs for dinner are due to Mary Anne Winig, Adult Programming Coordinator at (925) 283-8575 ext. 301 or maryannew@temple-isaiah.org by the Wednesday, November 18.
Jews of Uganda Speaker
Journey to Shabbat Services
Our guest will be JJ Keki, one of the outstanding leaders of the Abayudaya (Jews of Uganda) and the neighboring community, and a very experienced speaker and musical performer. His music was honored by a Grammy nomination in Traditional World Music.
Mr. Keki will join with Cantor Glassman in the musical parts of the service, and will speak about a program of the Abayudaya primary and high schools, which educate and feed 600 Jewish, Muslim and Christian children studying together in peace. He will also report on the child nutrition project; public health education and women’s empowerment programs; on-going classroom, dorm and school kitchen construction; as well as the village micro-finance, crafts, music CD, coffee, vanilla and eco-tourism self-help projects.
As leader and founder of the Mirembe Kawomera coffee co-ops, JJ will also provide insight into the progress of the “Delicious Peace” fair trade coffee project (sold here at Sherith Israel), which unites more than 1000 Jewish, Christian and Muslim farmers in the production of organic kosher coffee.
Date: Friday, November 20
Time: 6:30pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2266 California St., San Francisco
Songs of Renewal & Inspiration
A Havdallah Pre-chanukkah Night of Music and Stories
Join Rabbis Shawn Zevit and Menachem Creditor for Havdallah followed by concert.
Date: Saturday, December 5
Time: 8:30pm sharp
Place: Netivot Shalom, 1316 University Ave., Berkeley
Tickets/Donations at the Door $5
Call (510) 549-9447 for details
Holiday Expo
Come for an interfaith Holday Expo!
A variety of artists, authors and business owners from around the Bay Area will have booths selling their wares for holiday shoppers of all faiths. Vendors include Cookie Lee, Creative Memories, Discovery Toys, Mary Kay, Stampin’ Up, Scentsy Candles, and Avon. Local artists and merchants will be selling jewelry, chocolates, purses, greeting cards, knitted items, and holiday decorations (for Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa).
Date: Sunday, December 6
Time: 10am. to 1:30pm
Place: Temple Israel, 3183 Mecartney Road in Alameda.
FREE
For more information, please contact Temple Israel at either (510) 522-9355 or templeisraelevents@yahoo.com.
Rock the House, a Dinner Dance
Dance to the music of The Back Pages (http://www.thebackpages.net/) playing memorable hits from The 60’s. Dine on a dinner of Mediterranean fare, homemade desserts, and wine.
Celebrate the warmth of the Festival of Lights …with good friends and new acquaintances.
Participate in Temple Beth Hillel’s holiday fundraiser.
Date: Saturday, December 12
Time: 7:00 p.m.
Place: Temple Beth Hillel, 801 Park Central, Richmond – just a stone’s throw from the Hilltop exit of 880.
Cost: $45 in advance/$50 at the door.
To make your Rock the House reservations:
Call (510) 223-2560, or
E-mail tbhrichmond@hotmail.com, or
Mail to Temple Beth Hillel, P.O. Box 20910, El Sobrante, CA 94820
Posted by admin under Christmas, Couples, Holidays
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Wed 14 Oct 2009
Recently I was with a couple of women, each of whom is married to a non-Jewish man. One expressed her opinions with great intensity. She had strong opinions on how to deal with an interfaith marriage, what to do, how to act, what to teach your children, how to celebrate the holidays. The trouble was that the other woman had a very different life experience. Lisa meant well but she was gauging all interfaith marriages by her own.
You may be confronted with people like Lisa, people who feel that they know how you should be living. Let me tell you two truths:
1. You are not exactly like anyone else, so you can’t live your life by someone else’s choices.
2. You are not so unique that you can’t learn from others.
My goal with each couple I meet is to help you find what your path is, together as a couple. Then I want you to develop a healthy way of handling your children and extended family. I do use statistics, and what I’ve learned over the years, to share with you what typical outcomes are to particular actions. It doesn’t guarantee that your family will duplicate “typical” but it can give you some guidelines. In a couples discussion group each couple will determine what their course of action will be. All the couples share their goals, desires and concerns. Each couple finds their own way. If you think you are stuck, you can change that. If you feel the future is a worrisome mystery, you can change that. If you just want to have a plan or to hear what others are doing, you can do that. I believe that putting 16 hours into your relationship and your future are an investment that will pay dividends for decades to come.
One couple’s path
A member of this list recently wrote an article for InterfaithFamily; she emailed me the link. Juliet and Birger participated in a couples group. In the course of the group they became engaged. Today they have a beautiful two year old and are part of a loving community. Read about their process.
http://interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/weddings/Uncompromising_Compromises.shtml
What about you?
Consider investing in your life; consider signing up for an Interfaith Couples Discussion Group. Contact me if you’d like to discuss this idea. dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org.
Books for kids
Following on the heels of my last email to you regarding Jews of color, here is a link to a list of children’s books that have characters who are various races but the book is not about race. It’s nice to not have every book bang on the topic of race. Many of our children are or have friends who are multiracial but most of their lives are about other things.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/blog/660000266/post/1920043592.html?nid=2788&rid=386985831
I hope to see you at one of the programs in red below. Let me know if you’re coming!
Tot Shabbat (Redwood City)
It’s the Law: Making Jewish Decisions in Modern Times (Walnut Creek)
Jazz Shabbat (San Francisco)
Young Family Shabbat (Walnut Creek)
Silicon Valley Jewish Film Festival (Palo Alto)
Bonfire and Seaside Songs (San Francisco)
People of the Books (Palo Alto)
FREE Family Day at the Contemporary Jewish Museum (San Francisco)
Young Family Shabbat Celebration (Walnut Creek)
Max Minsky and Me (Film) (Los Altos)
Mothers Circle (Los Altos)
Women in Interfaith Relationships (Palo Alto)
Exploring Interfaith LGBTQ Relationships (Piedmont)
Heschel (San Francisco)
How I Decided to Raise My Kids Jewish (San Francisco)
REEL Jewish Women (San Rafael)
Tot Shabbat
The Tot Shabbat program includes childcare, child-friendly activities and a Shabbat service geared for ages 2-5. There is no charge, and no prior registration required.
Date: Every Saturday
Time: 9:00 a.m. thru the end of services
Place: Beth Jacob, 1550 Alameda de las Pulgas, Redwood City, in the preschool
For more information call the shul at 650-366-8481
Tot Shabbat services are a great way to learn about a Jewish service. They are short, education and full of children.
It’s the Law: Making Jewish Decisions in Modern Times
How do we make Jewish decisions in life? What can Jewish tradition offer us as we confront difficult choices? In this course we will explore how Jewish law (Halakhah) has evolved over the past three millennia and discover the ways that it remains relevant in our lives in contemporary times. Join us as we examine case studies in modern ethics and learn how Jewish law can inform the decisions we make as modern people.
Date: Tuesdays, October 13 – October 27
Time: 7:30 to 9pm
Place: B’nai Shalom, 74 Eckley Ln., Walnut Creek
Info: 925-934-9446
FREE
Taught by Rabbi Elon Sunshine. Now how can you go wrong with a rabbi named ASunshine?!
Jazz Shabbat
Join us for Jazz Shabbat in the Martin Meyer Sanctuary. This intergenerational service features Shabbat melodies with a jazzy flavor sung by Cantor Roslyn Barak joined by congregants Ken Miller on bass, Jerome Rossen, composer/arranger/pianist, and Peter Logan on drums. Many of the melodies are composed and arranged by Jerome Rossen.
Date: Oct. 16
Time: 5:30pm
Place: Emanu-El, 2 Lake St., San Francisco
www.emanuelsf.org
Young Family Shabbat
Young Family Shabbat is designed for children age 5 and under, and their families. Dinner, with a great new menu, will start at 5:00 p.m. Creative arts and crafts activities will be offered to children during the dinner. Services begin at 6:15 p.m., in the Chapel.
Friday, Oct. 16 and every third Friday of the month
Time: Dinner at 5pm and Services at 6:15pm.
(Make reservations for dinner by the preceding Wednesday – that’s today)
Place: B’nai Shalom, 74 Eckley Ln., Walnut Creek
Info: 925-934-9446
Silicon Valley Jewish Film Festival
The Film Festival Opening Night this year is an extra special occasion when the festival showcases the film Letters for Jenny on Saturday, Oct. 17 as part of the grand opening weekend of the new Oshman Family JCC (OFJCC).
The special Opening Night Event is co-sponsored by the Oshman Family JCC and it’s a chance for you to be among the first to enjoy a major event in the new Albert Schultz Cultural Arts Hall on the beautiful new OFJCC Taube Koret Campus for Jewish Life. Advance tickets are still available and are $25 in advance and $20, OFJCC members. If available, tickets at the door will be $30 apiece.
The evening begins at 7:30 p.m. and includes a discussion about Argentinean Jewry led by University of Oregon Assistant Professor Monique Balbuena. The evening continues with a colorful and entertaining demonstration of Tango by the premiere dancers of the OF JCC Argentinean Tango Club, followed by the movie.
Date: Sat., Oct. 17
Time: 7:30pm
Place: Taube Koret Campus for Jewish Life, 3921 Fabian Way, Palo Alto
www.svjff.org
Bonfire and Seaside Songs
Join us for a fun evening around the Bonfire. Come for Havdalah, share your voice, or just listen, as we watch the flames dance. Please bring food and drinks for yourself and some to share. Bring many friends, stories, songs, drums and other musical instruments. The YeaShOre Community and Congregation Beth Shalom will provide chocolate, Kosher marshmallows and crackers for S’mores. We will also bring potatoes and onions for roasting in the Bonfire. We will have a Jewish Havdalah ritual about an hour after sunset. The ritual lasts a few minutes. As not all the guests at YeaShOre’s bonfires are Jewish, we explain it and invite everyone to join in. (or at least be quiet).
Date; Sat., Oct. 17
Time: 6:30pm till midnight-ish
Place: San Francisco’s Ocean Beach – look for the fish windsock
Parking note: Park on Fulton, NOT at the Ocean Beach parking lot. The Ocean Beach parking lot and Golden Gate Park are posted “No Parking” at 10 p.m. Please do not get a parking ticket while at the Bonfire!
Visit yeashore.org for maps and photo directions. From 6:30 to 7:00 p.m.: Meet at the Beach Chalet at 1000 Great Highway, between Fulton St. and Lincoln Way. After 7:00 p.m.: Cross the Great Highway from the Chalet, go to and down the RAMP (not any stairs).
People of the Books
An Etz Chayim book group. The next book we’ll read is “The Septembers of Shiraz” by Dalia Sofer. If you are interested please contact us at bookclubchair@etzchayim.org.
Date: Sun., Oct. 18
Time: 10:30am – 12:00pm.
Place: Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma, Palo Alto
www.etzchayim.org
FREE Family Day at the Contemporary Jewish Museum
See two exciting exhibitions:
*There’s a Mystery There: Sendak on Sendak
*As it is Written: Project 304,805 (The Torah Project)
Enjoy musical performances:
*Magik performs a new audience-participation composition of Maurice Sendak’s Chicken Soup with Rice
*Sendak Sing-Along (and other songs of monsters and kids)
Make art: Celebrate the art of the book!
*Decorate your own bookbag
*Experiment with pen, ink , and calligraphy techniques, then create a personalized bookmark
Date: Sunday, Oct. 18
Time: 11am-4pm
Place: Contemporary Jewish Museum, 736 Mission Street (between Third and Fourth streets) San Francisco
FREE
look online at www.thecjm.org
Young Family Shabbat Celebration
Join Rabbi Sunshine for this fun and interactive service for families with children six years of age of under. All are welcome.
Date: Friday nights, October 23, November 13, December 11, January 22, February 19, March 19th, April 9, May 21.
Time: 6:00 – 6:30 pm
Place: B’nai Shalom, 74 Eckley Ln., Walnut Creek
www.bshalom.org
Max Minsky and Me (Film)
Next in our Jewish Film Series is Max Minsky and Me. Nelly Sue Edelmeister is a cerebral 13-year-old Berlin wallflower who lives for astronomy, with a desire to become a star basketball player. Her mother, however, feels she should concentrate on preparation for her forthcoming Bat Mitzvah. To complicate matters further for Nelly, her parents’ marriage is disintegrating. This is a charming and heartwarming coming-of-age film that will appeal to all ages and it is one of the few German films that depict modern day dilemmas of that country’s re-born Jewish community. German with subtitles.
Free of Charge. Refreshments will be served.
Date: Sat., Oct. 24
Time: 4pm
Place: Beth Am,
I was curious about this film so I found a trailer online:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpS0AL2a9Kg
Mothers Circle
Are you raising your kids as Jews, but you are not Jewish?
Join a 12-session course that explores how to create Jewish memories for your children even when you did not have a Jewish childhood yourself. Through a step-by-step approach to raising Jewish children you will learn about Jewish holidays, customs and values.
Meet other moms who share the same concerns and experiences to discuss how couples who come from different traditions create Jewish homes.
If your child is raising questions about Judaism, or you are ready to bring Jewish customs into your home, or you are interested in connecting with the synagogue, then this is the course for you!
Join us for coffee, new friends, Jewish learning and great discussions.
Date: Begins Sunday, Oct. 25, All sessions will be on Sunday mornings during Sunday School.
Date: 9:15 a.m.
Place: Beth Am, 26790 Arastradero Road, Los Altos Hills in the Beit Kehillah – call for directions.
Cost: $55 for books, materials, childcare and refreshments.
For questions contact Frieda Haidt at haidt@sonic.net
Frieda is an old friend and a terrific facilitator. Send her an email with your questions.
Women in Interfaith Relationships
Facilitated by Dawn Kepler
This discussion for girlfriends, wives, mothers and grandmothers addresses the expectations society places on women in interfaith relationships.
How do you handle religious issues when it comes to raising children, sexuality and household roles? Join in for a lively and supportive talk.
Dates: Sundays, Oct. 25 and Nov. 22
Time: 7 p.m.
Place: Palo Alto JCC
Cost is $20 for JCC members, $25 for non-members.
Register online at www.paloaltojcc.org
Contact me if you have any questions.
Exploring Interfaith LGBTQ Relationships
Led by Rabbi Ruth Adar and Dawn Kepler
Join us for an exploration of key issues that come up for interfaith couples: clarifying values, good communication, relationships with family and friends, finding community, and joyfully sharing each other’s traditions, holidays and religious observances. This class will be a combination of discussion, readings, and guided activities. All genders welcome.
Date: Four sessions beginning Monday, Oct. 26
Time: 7:30 to 9pm
Place: Kehilla Community Synagogue, Grand Ave., Oakland
Cost: $80/couple, no one turned away for lack of funds.
For more information call Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11.
Heschel
We will read, discuss, and argue about the correct interpretation of short selections by Abraham Joshua Heschel (1907-1972) from the anthology, Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity: Essays by Abraham Joshua Heschel and Susannah Heschel. Together with Martin Buber, Heschel almost single-handedly brought Jewish spirituality to liberal American Judaism. We will consider his vision on such topics as, contemplative prayer, political protest (Heschel marched with Martin Luther King), the meaning of Sinai, radical amazement, and how to be a Jew.
Dates: Begins Oct. 27 and meets alternate Tuesday evenings
Time: 7-8:30 pm
Place: Emanu-El, 2 Lake St., San Francisco
Fees: $18 members — $20 non-members per trimester — OR $50 for the year
To register go to http://www.emanuelsf.org/register
How I Decided to Raise My Kids Jewish
Facilitated by Dawn
How do non-Jewish parents decide to raise their children as Jews? What are their concerns? Once the decision is made, how did they make it happen? Did they retain their own religion? How do they share their identity with their children? Come hear a panel of non-Jewish parents as they discuss their journey to a Jewish home identity.
Date: Nov. 1
Time: 10am to 11:45am
Place: Beth Israel Judea, 625 Brotherhood Way, San Francisco
Cost: $7; free to Beth Israel Judea members
For more information all Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11
REEL Jewish Women
with Jan WahlCelebrated San Francisco Bay Area movie reviewer and film historian Jan Wahl takes us on an illustrated journey of Jewish women in show business, ranging from Fanny Brice to Natalie Portman. Providing her unique commentary and showing entertaining film clips from every era, Jan will make us reminisce, think, and of course, howl in laughter. Be sure to wear a hat and join us for a light brunch!
Date: Sunday, November 1
Time: 10 am – noon
Place: Rodef Sholom, 170 North San Pedro Rd, San Rafael
Cost: $15 for non-members. RSVP to Rhonda Daniels at 883-1966 or e-mail wrs@rodefsholom.org, subject: REEL Women.
Co-presented with the Center for Jewish Life at the Osher Marin JCC in the Hoytt Theater.
Posted by admin under A meaningful life, Couples
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Wed 19 Aug 2009
About 2 percent of Americans are Jewish. Somewhere around 10 – 15 percent are gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual. So how easy is it to be Jewish & gay and find another gay Jew? You do the math. It won’t surprise you to learn that most LGBT Jews are in interfaith relationships. There are things about being interfaith that are standard fare – what will we do about the holidays? what will our wedding look like? how will we raise the kids? where will we find spiritual community? sometimes I feel weird about how Jewish/Christian/Hindu/secular you are.
Some things are unique to LGBT interfaith relationships. We have both suffered from prejudice, alienation and rebuff. We may be worried about our child having a role model from the “other gender.” Our income tends to be lower than straight couples. One or both of us may have been rejected by our religious or cultural community. We feel extra protective of each other and our children.
Would you like to join other LGBT couples to discuss your concerns, hopes and plans?
I am starting an Interfaith LBGT couples discussion group to be co-facilitated by Rabbi Ruth Adar. Here’s a description. Call or email if you are interested.
Exploring Interfaith LGBTQ Relationships
Join us for an exploration of key issues that come up for interfaith couples: clarifying values, good communication, relationships with family and friends, finding community, and joyfully sharing each other’s traditions, holidays and religious observances. This class will be a combination of discussion, readings, and guided activities. All genders welcome.
Date: Four sessions beginning Monday, Oct. 26
Time: 7:30 to 9pm
Place: Kehilla Community Synagogue, 1300 Grand Ave., Piedmont
Cost: $80/couple, no one turned away for lack of funds.
For more information call Dawn at 510-845-6420 x11.
Posted by admin under Couples, LGBT, Past Programs
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